


Messidona

by cerberusbreath



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Eventual Smut, Getting stoned getting drunk and having a good ole college time, Help, Hope's Peak Academy, M/M, Might even throw some DND in eventually lmao idk, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Red Lobster Incident, Slow Burn, The debate club is the spawn of many academy memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25126834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerberusbreath/pseuds/cerberusbreath
Summary: ♫ Messidona ♫The debate club is the spawn of all things evil. Nothing good ever happens in that classroom.Okay, so, I may be being a little dramatic. We could say instead that the debate club should probably be renamed to the "theatrics club". Maybe the "responsible clown ownership" club?Either way, Shuichi cannot dismiss the fact that it's the most fun he's had in his entire life, and he's thankful that he transferred to Hope's Peak Academy.When Kaede invited him to join, he did not expect himself to begin developing the new found confidence that he needed, nor did he expect to start catching feelings for a classmate so quickly.Meanwhile, at the same time, Kokichi would have never imagined he could form a relationship so important to him.Nor did he imagine it would enhance his other personal relationships with the people around him, let alone influence them.
Relationships: Ouma Kokichi/Shuichi Saihara
Comments: 64
Kudos: 109





	1. People

Cocky and arrogant, a walking whirlwind filled with whimsical comebacks and remarks sourced from his very own Dictionary of Conversation & One Liners _($11.98 MSRP)_ , a being that truly brims as much _feigned_ aminosity as he does deceit. You could say that he is equipped with enough teeth and malice to not only start a real argument, but to also fuel it, until it bursts and aspires into an entirely one-sided and misunderstood dilemna that quite frankly, 8 out of 10 times is unnecessary and results in the most ridiculous shenanigans to ever grace the classroom. That's one, short, way to describe Kokichi Ouma, the rowdy boy who is far more intelligent and skilled beyond what he lets on. Some call him "petty", "virgin rat dick bastard", "needs to hit a fat doink, like, chill man", "a disaster that'll probably drop out to pursue a career in dumpster diving", and "TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS DEBATE CLUB!!!". 

But hey, y'know, he'd rather describe himself, "strongly opinionated" and "someone who can make things interesting", a person who takes matters into his own hands, and fights with his own unique weapons at his disposal -- it's all to create an illusion, founded on top of baseless shows of mischief. If it were any other way, the debate club would be a total bust -- this place isn't for simpleton nerds who just want to talk about politics all day and rightfully beat the shit out of any new guy who ACTUALLY thinks human rights are a debate. The debate club is about building your argumentive skills no matter how ridiculous the situation, to spin creativity within your own communication skills, and to spark passion over those elements in your life you _strongly_ feel for even if they seem miniscule to others! That may be a dramatic way to describe a club, but those were the only reasons he participated in a club at all. Well, that and there were a few other pressing matters, but those would be brought to light later.

He knows he's not the most popular person at Hope's Peak -- ah, wait, scratch that, that would be a lie -- he's definitely well known, but for all the wrong reasons. Maybe we should phrase it that he's definitely not the most _liked_ person at Hope's Peak, but perceived as the most hysterical. Kokichi has his own circle, if you could even call it that, considering it primarily clung onto two people, but no matter how small it is, he liked to believe they are the _coolest_ people at the Academy. That's why they're a small crowd after all, only so many people could be as awesome as they are. That part, he thought to himself, was probably a lie. No offense to his friends, of course. Shit, they only hung out because they had the same sense of humor and hobbies -- fuck getting drunk, playing games and watching movies by yourself.

Either way, when it boils down to it, under normal circumstances, Kokichi doesn't care what absolutely anyone thinks of him. Reactivity is a human flaw that he has trained himself to exploit, but of course, it was innocent and all in good fun in his eyes. People form their opinions based on their own assumptions of others, you could compare them to simple machines with a finger bonded to a trigger that merely reacts to emotional interpretation of events that they actually know very little about. Humans never ask nearly enough questions, they jump to assume things, then proceed to brainlessly spread information and exchange words in the same way that parrots mimic noise to one another. It doesn't matter if it's fact or opinion, whether or not they pursued the truth before discussion -- it was all lazy, selfish gossip, with no driving passion behind it. The concept alone makes Kokichi's stomach curl in irritation, he _hated_ that about people, and he never wanted to stoop to their playing ground.

For example, he would wield that hate and use it to convince people that he himself was the one that wrecked the local Red Lobster's plumbing system by flushing enough Cheddar Bay Biscuits to feed a small vault of opossums, which many found a crime in itself as those biscuits are the best fucking thing about that restaurant, even he knew that. Why pay to eat there and not even eat the biscuits?! The news article itself was bare bones and there was really nothing to research as to why Red Lobster was shut down for a week, "everything's broken, give us a sec" was basically all that was accessible. There were no charges. Everyone tried to forget what happened. God forbid someone mentioned it, as Kokichi would just start up again. What evidence did they have to say it WASN'T Cheddar Bay Biscuits, anyway?

\---

\---

The clock had nearly breached 5:00pm, and as Kokichi slid his belongings into his backpack, the professor's final briefing had become nothing but background noise to his brain. He had what was called "selective hearing", which was incredibly obvious by the way his notebook was filled with considerably well drawn sketches and endearing doodles, as opposed to course materials or notes. His headphones battery rested at a questionable 8%, and they kept obnoxiously requesting that he consider turning the damn thing off or charging it. In the back of his mind, he was cursing to himself that this should be an excuse enough to finally indulge in a portable battery bank. Shit, being a student sucked. The fact he had spent money on himself to get a digital tablet was gut wrenching to think about by itself.

As everyone was dismissed, Kokichi was one of the first to leave the classroom in a manner that was between haste and relaxation. Nonchalant focus graced him, it was like he was thinking about nothing at all while habit had his body set to autopilot. Today was Wednesday, it was time for all of the debate kids to gather up and present their weekly... topics. Not only that, Tsumugi had probably created a new scenario for them all to argue over. She wasn't one to actually join the debates, but damn could she craft a good mystery scenario, *and* run a mean beast of a DND session. Not that he would know, he was never invited to the former, but he did design his own character sheets _in case_ he ever was. It was a funny dynamic, but the two of them did get along quite well in a creative and artistic retrospect.

Reaching his destination at the time he would usually show up, he popped into good 'ole room #405, the home of the debate club. He made his way back to the spot he usually sat -- the corner furthest away from the door, on the side closest to the windows. "Oh! Hello, Kokichi! First as always!" Tsumugi politely waved him down as he had walked in, in which he casually flipped his hand to reciprocate the wave with his back towards her as he continued between the row of desks. It was routine at this point, but Tsumugi seemed to be a bit more excited than standard today. "Um, I know we still have 20 minutes, but if you want extra time to read up before I go over everything with everyone, then feel free to go ahead. This session should definitely be longer than the other ones we have had!" The source material table was set up nicely per usual, but at first glance there was a lot more content than there usually was.

"Wait -- are you saying that this session is going to somehow, like, be more interesting than the other ones?" Kokichi sneered, without any aminosity toward her, but definitely in a way that entailed that he wasn't sure if he should expect to be impressed or disappointed. Not that it needed to be stated, but he found the lack of challenge to be quite boring as of late, no matter how much fun he had each week provoking his fellow club members into states of genuine confusion.

"Well... I mean... We have a new student joining us today, and he just so happens to be the Ultimate Detective!" Tsumugi started, and then began to ponder at her words as though she were trying to be more considerate. "Now, I'm in no way trying to hype it up that it'll be some amazing show down, like a battle that continues throughout 6 episodes before finally coming to a epic conclusion -- but I do want to have some faith in our new classmate!" Ah, that was better, she definitely did not want to put this individual on the spot. "Plus, I was hoping we could get to know him better and maybe have a team outing tonight... Ah, but I don't know just yet, we're still trying to figure out the timing..." Her smile was genuine, she had definitely lived up to her role of taking responsibility of the club.

A detective? That could definitely make things more interesting. "Hah!! Hopefully he _actually_ lives up to his talent's name! It'd be embaa~aarrassing if I had to call him out on his first day, wouldn't it?" Kokichi cackled, throwing both hands up behind his head and showing one of his signature grins before resuming his typical apathetic demeanor and practically throwing himself back into a bean bag chair. "Not that I would care or even be surprised." His tone lowered, eyes grazing over the screen of his phone as he began reading whatever popped up on his social media's feed. Mostly stupid memes and questionable content of people being irresponsible pet owners, which he would go off in the comment sections about.

Tsumugi frowned briefly before choosing to forget what the boy had just said. It also irked her that he had chosen to ignore her mention of checking out what she had prepared for today, but it was nothing new for Kokichi to act disconcerting in a way. "Also!" Tsumugi suddenly called out to catch his attention once again, which only barely worked. "Whoever creates the most sound argument this session gets _all_ of their drinks paid for tonight. That is all." And with that, this statement was all it took. Kokichi's eyes flickered up with deep contemplation before he instinctively pushed himself up and made his way over to the desk, which he hunched over and started reading with intense focus as though he was definitely not acting like a soul depraved of decency. Free food was standard, but free drinks? That was exceedingly valuable!

10 minutes passed, and more people had began to show up. Maki and Kaito had strolled in, shortly followed by Kaede, then Keebo, and eventually Rantaro. Upon catching up with Tsumugi, everyone was pretty happy to hear they were invited out tonight, some more than others -- which was broadcasted by Kaito basically screaming and cheering that he, himself, would be the one to win this debate, and that he would pridefully consume every drink on the menu. Kokichi snorted at the statement, and Rantaro questioned just how he would accomplish that. The air was getting increasingly heavy as Maki was being incubated by her embarassment whilst the three squabbled on and on. She unholstered her glare toward him, a glare sharper than any knife that could possibly be found at the steakhouse they were going to visit that night, and quietly waited. By this point, Tsumugi had apologetically excused herself as she planned the evening's events, she needed to make some calls. No one really noticed her leaving, though.

Keebo had mentioned he couldn't personally get behind the hype, seeing as he couldn't even consume anything there, and the main reason he was excited was to spend time with everyone. This was enough to turn Kaito around, and his excitement quickly diminished from the peak it was at once he caught sight of Maki's expression. It was terrifying. "Er.. um... You know, Keebo, you do have a point! What's important is the time we're going to spend together tonight, as a team!! So, let's have fun everyone, alright?" Kaito quickly recovered from the near fatal mistake he had made, which Maki gave a curt smile toward, satisfied with her work.

Throughout all of the commotion, no one had noticed that their new classmate had joined them and was quietly listening from a distance, simply standing against the wall. They continued to talk excitedly, and no one really acknowledged him, except for Kokichi. Upon catching glimpse of him, Kokichi went completely quiet and focused. Honestly, confusion would be the first word to describe the expression on the new boy's face. No, no, not even confusion -- it might be better described as being _overwhelmed_ or _unsure_. He looked as though his idea of the debate club had been thoroughly crapped on and disproved. Not even that, more like he had no idea how to socialize. Kokichi locked onto him, his eyes sweeping over him and _reading_ him. 

He didn't realize he had been staring until the boy's golden eyes met with his, in which his first instinct was to redirect his eyes, but something inside him provoked him to hold his gaze steady where it was. After a few seconds, the newcomer broke eye contact first, prodding at his hat and running his fingers through his hair as though he was trying to distract himself. The new club member wasn't what he expected. At all. He looked so meek and... pretty. With that, Kokichi unambiguously, as to not catch the notice of the others, moved his way to the boy. 

The new guy was taller than him, not outrageously tall, but a pretty standard height -- let's not mention the fact that nearly everyone was taller than Kokichi, though. You know, everything about him was kind of standard at first glance, actually. But at the same time, the longer he had looked, the more he noticed. He had looked over him enough to acknowledge he was actually stupidly pretty, had nice features, and was skilled at applying makeup. His style of clothing was on point as well, it was casual enough to be comfortable but looked nice enough on him to stand out. Kokichi thought nothing of these speculations, he was just checking out someone who was new. That was all. 

\---

\---

"Hey, hey!" Kokichi strided up to him, moving himself into his frame of vision so that they would have to face each other, unbeknownst that the other thought it was comparable to a small dog trying to get someone's attention. "You look a little lost, so you know what, I'll help you out. How does that sound?" 

"That... would be nice, actually." The so-called detective replied. "I have no idea what I'm doing." His face said everything, but at least he seemed to find more humor in it than shame. Even his voice was gentle and surprisingly... _pretty_ , Kokichi had thought. The politeness and contemplation placed into each word was endearing.

"You're more self aware than you look, at least!" Kokichi smirked briefly. The other wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a compliment. 

"Put your things over here, mmkay?" Kokichi pointed toward "his" little corner in the room before following the hesitant man over to where he took a seat. This individual looked so relieved to be given some sort of direction, it had been a while since Kokichi was trusted so easily by... well, anyone. Looking back over at the others, everyone was still obviously too busy talking about stupid bullshit to even consider being polite or be something as simple as inclusive. It pissed him off that he, of all people, was the only one to extend such common courtesy to someone. Whatever, peace would resume once Tsumugi rejoined the group from the phone call she had to go take, whenever that would be.

"Welcome to my corner!! I don't usually accept company, buuut, luckily for you, I'll make an exception this time!!" Kokichi beamed as he took his usual seat, which was now across from the new kid who apparently decided he'd rather face _away_ from all of the other members. His expression was difficult to read, but it definitely wasn't an unpleasant one -- one of modesty if anything. 

"Sooo, what am I supposed to call you?" Kokichi asked, before suddenly following up with a small burst of thrill that he appeared to be far too into. "Ooh, wait, wait, hold on! Tsumugi never even mentioned you actually *have* a name, so I thought -- maybe because you're the Ultimate Detective, you took the concept of 'lying low' to a whole new level and you don't even have a name! Do you need suggestions?"

The new kid looked absolutely bewildered. Mouth somewhat agape as he processed exactly what had just been said to him, his golden eyes searched Kokichi's for answers -- like, was he being... serious? Was he that much of a dumbass that he would believe that concept? No. The conclusion he arrived to was easy, and within seconds his posture eased. There's no way that response couldn't be anything but be a joke. After establishing that, he couldn't help but start laughing, which came out as more of a genuine, huffed chortle that he tried to contain by pointing his face downward to the desk and chuckling into his closed hand. This was a type of humor he was not used to, but definitely enjoyed.

"Oh, no. I'm pretty content with my name, but I guess you could make a code name for me, now that I think about it." He had to clarify first, as the idea of someone giving him name suggestions was honestly hilarious to him and something he wouldn't mind. Glancing back upward after gaining composure, he introduced himself with a fond smile. "I'm Shuichi Saihara, first and foremost. And you?

Kokichi returned that smile, his interest peaked even more. A sense of humor, too? That made things much easier. He hated when people would just treat him like he was some actual, legitimate dumbass. "I'll keep that in mind." He replied in a neutral tone before moving on, code names were definitely something to have fun with eventually. "I'm Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader!" His introduction was definitely a lot more questionable than Shuichi's, who literally kept it as brief as possible.

"Supreme... Leader?" Shuichi asked with a smidge of hesitance. But before he could get a reply, they were interupted.

Kokichi had practically yelled his introduction, which had caught the attention of the others who were suddenly aware of Shuichi's presence -- oh wow, holy shit, a new kid! When did he get here??? "Oh!!" Kaede seemed almost horrified and was the first to run over to him and clamp her hands onto his shoulders while standing behind his chair. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I feel so stupid! I didn't see you walk in, I'm so sorry, Shuichi!" She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a brief hug before composing herself. Kokichi felt irritation trickle through him, that someone could be so selfish as to completely ignore someone, and then proceed to make everything about themself, but he held his tongue.

"Uh, it's not that big of a deal... I didn't really announce myself." Shuichi mumbled, a lot more quiet now that literally everyone's attention was on him.

"Still, that's no excuse!! Guys, this is Shuichi! He just transferred here and I thought the debate club would be a great way to make some friends and work on his--" Kaede suddenly cut off of her steady rhythm of enthusiasm when Shuichi shifted to look up at her, as though to tell her 'please stop, put me out of this misery, release me from this hell'. And for the love of god, don't tell everyone that he's a nervous wreck and needs to develop his confidence. Fake it 'til you make it is a big first step, right? At least give him a chance! "Work on his-- um..." Kaede caught the hint and hesitated. Oops, she wasn't a good liar in the slightest, and her pause was making things incredibly awkward.

"Ugh, god, Kaede! How could you forget already?" Kokichi slammed his fists against the table -- he looked and sounded like he was actually angry, which turned Kaede's head immediately. "He's here to work on his case, obviously! Shuichi was assigned to expose my Top Secret organization, because he's the Ultimate Detective!" He explained, fully confident in his lie. "I mean, it's not like any of you guys could ever figure it out! You all suck ass!" His words dripped spite this time, enough spite to visibly tick Kaito off and receive some annoyed glances from the others. Shuichi was looking at him now, too, mostly with a expression of curiosity and... slight admiration that someone could be so bold.

"Yeah, yeah. What fucking ever, Kokichi." Kaito scoffed, doing his best to shrug it off before Maki seriously murdered him for causing another scene. Kaede swallowed her pride and finally responded "Uhhh... Yeah, that's right! Anyway!-" 

The door to the classroom swung open and Tsumugi appeared before anything else could escalate. "Ah, I'm really sorry for having to leave for so long! I have bad news, and... good news?" She wasn't sure what she had just walked in on, but she decided not to question it. The debate club was kind of always like this outside of sessions. "Well, unfortunately we cannot have a session tonight if we want to go out together, we just plainly do not have time on our side. So I was wondering what you guys want to do?"

It was obvious what everyone wanted to do, no one was sure why she even gave them the option -- who would EVER pass up on free food? "Does that mean no one gets paid drinks, as a winner cannot be selected?" Rantaro asked nonchalantly, both arms crossed over his chest. Honestly, he looked prepared to be disappointed.

"Yeah!! What're we gonna do about that? Man, I was looking forward to that!" Kaito beamed in loudly, content to distract himself from his previous interaction, even if he wasn't necessarily that thrilled.

Tsumugi looked conflicted, and incredibly pressured to make everyone happy. "U-Um, well, money really isn't the issue here, so... I guess two drinks per person can be covered? We are sort of celebrating, and it's obviously not as a reward this time... I don't really mind as long as everyone is responsible and makes good choices!" 

Good choices? Kokichi started snickering. No one in this damn club makes those! No one! Hell, not even goody two shoes Kaede made good choices, she was even the one to most recently fuck up! But that's what makes it such a fuuuun club. He glanced back over to Shuichi, who still looked as unsure as ever. "Shu~iiii~chiii! You're coming too, riiiight?"

Shuichi's ears tingled at the tone that called for his attention, and he swallowed as he looked over. What did he just get himself into?


	2. Shaking and Trembling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [♫ 新宝島 ♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EuC4jUbITA)  
> 
> 
> I kept drawing the next line  
> to the next and the next.  
> I'm drawing the next destination:  
> Treasure Island.
> 
> I'm guiding you along like this.  
> I'm carefully drawing.  
> With lines that were shaking and trembling,  
> I'm carefully drawing.  
> It's been decided.

"Shu~iiii~chiii! You're coming too, riiiight?"

There he was. Stuck. Caught. Like a deer in headlights -- but this was no normal deer, this deer was actually breathtakingly, unmistakably, **stupid** \-- at least that’s what his subconscious told him. Shuichi felt nausea and concern twirl inside him like a leaf on wind, graceful in its own way, up until it flutters onto the pavement for a 13 year old to deliberately stomp and crush into nothing but crisps. 

That was exactly how he felt. Yes, let’s reiterate that. Shuichi felt as though a 13 year old was currently jumping on his frail, crispy body, the child's shoes dragging him as he was smeared into the cement and blown away as something _even less relevant than dust_. It was probably all of the events that just occurred combined that caused this feeling, but it didn't help that he did just mentally admit to himself that Kokichi's voice was actually pretty attractive to him.

"As long as I'm welcome to, then I guess it does sound pretty fun." Shuichi finally responded after a couple of moments had passed, mostly pressed forward because he was sick of counting the flutter of heartbeats against his chest. It was a bad habit. The smile on his lips was forced this time, and Kaede looked proud regardless, which made him realize he was able to release the breath he had been subconsciously holding. Oh, if only it was that easy. He felt like an intruder in a thief’s den, someone who was incredibly mortal, being compared to skilled, established individuals. Not only that, he was being fed their rewards at a whim, undeserved and unearned. 

_You’re being unfair to yourself. You're imagining things again. Stop it._

"Man, of course you're welcome, you seem like a cool guy! Kaede has been talking about you for WEEKS, I think she'd kill us if we dared say otherwise!" Kaito was the first to say something, almost as though he felt responsible to be the one to encourage Shuichi. The punch that was just left against his arm by Kaede went thankless. Kaito rubbed the back of his neck and grinned that huge smile of his. He was honestly pretty eager to have a new face join the crowd, the more welcoming he could be, the better. He didn't want to hear a single excuse from anyone, there was no reason any of them could fail to offer Shuichi something as simple as companionship. "I'm Kaito Momota, by the way! Luminary of the Stars! If I think you're an interesting person, then hey, that's gotta mean something for all of us, y'know!"

Shuichi flushed lightly upon revelation that his grand appearance was apparently being foretold this entire time, but decided not to say anything to address it. That was something he could have easily suspected Kaede of doing, anyway. The others began to chime in their thoughts as well. The general consciousness was incredibly positive, and his hopes had risen more and more with every comment. He was never the type to talk to many people, or have more than one or two friends. This was all new to him, and he definitely wanted to embrace it.

Rantaro inquired about Shuichi's makeup while he in return showed interest in the other's piercings, mentioning that he had been researching getting some for himself. Maki mentioned she'd enjoy practicing makeup with them both, or that they could all train with her and Kaito, as that was something routine for them. Keebo was simply interested in just having another friend to speak to and try new things with, he wasn’t picky in the slightest. Tsumugi mentioned she would love to create a new D&D campaign for them all to participate in, and that she would gladly make models for their characters.

Meanwhile, Kaede was practically the embodiment of excitement, she was full of grins and giggles. Kaede encouraged them all on and made it known she'd be up for anything, any time — she was always a social butterfly, and she had hoped to involve Shuichi in her life more now that transportation was no longer an issue. Shuichi's mind had become a mess of buzzing from all of this stimulation, and by the time the classroom resumed its typical idle conversation, he fell back into his silence, his eyes searching for the familiar boy who he had introduced himself to first. Familiarity was all too comforting.

Kokichi was no longer at the desk they once shared, which he had definitely been seated at a few moments ago. Or had it been longer? It felt like time flew by each time he impulsively glanced at the clock. Thanks to all of the conversation he was being bombarded with, he failed to realize anyone had moved, even time itself. Fortunately he didn't need to look far before realizing Kokichi was actually still nearby -- behind the table and curled up almost like a cat on what looked like... bean bag chairs??

Snuggled into the soft black fabric on the opposite end of the table, barricaded by the bookshelves, Kokichi was scrolling away on his phone and had his headphones on in a apparent display that whatever was going on, was just too boring for his standards. What was once relief for Shuichi, became anxiety once again. Why was he suddenly so uninterested? Was it something he had said or done? Those thoughts draped around his brain, all while Kokichi didn't do as much as glance upward or even act as though he were bothered in any way. Ah, he was overthinking again, wasn’t he?

After everyone had been given that time frame to warm up to Shuichi, Tsumugi asked everyone to prepare to leave as she'd prefer everyone be done with the restaurant at a reasonable time tonight. Safety and all that jazz, y'know? The club members continued to talk among each other as they prepared, some already taking their leave as they confirmed where they would meet in the next 30 minutes.

Shuichi lifted himself from his seat and slung his bag across his shoulders, physically more confident than how he had arrived. Glancing over at Kokichi once again, he wondered if he should try to talk to him. The boy was the first to approach and welcome him in the first place, it shouldn’t be an issue, but how he had suddenly withdrawn and chosen to ignore everyone made Shuichi feel _self conscious_. 

That might’ve just been selfish of him to think, considering he's more likely to withdraw from a conversation than anyone else. There was no way for him to describe it, but he... wanted to know more about him. First impressions should be ones that last, and Kokichi managed to portray that perfectly. It didn’t matter who he was meeting, they would definitely remember who Kokichi was. He made sure of that.

Approaching his bean bag palace, Shuichi watched before doing anything further, but the other boy made it a point to ignore his approach — Intentional? Probably not. Cautiously, Shuichi wondered if his planned action would be rude, but proceeded to prod Kokichi gently on the shoulder anyway, for the boy was intently focused and obviously couldn't hear or see him. 

The boy's violet eyes danced upward and met his, removing his headphones that blared what sounded like Mindless Self Indulgence in the background. The same interest that he had originally shown Shuichi when they first interacted was still obvious in his gaze. Looking at him from this angle made him feel awkward, he realized this even more the longer he stood there.

"Um, we're getting ready to leave now." He hesitated for a couple of moments, unsure how to carry the topic. Finding himself swept up in small details about Kokichi's appearance that he probably shouldn't have cared about, his resolve was slowly mustering itself. He had to be confident, or at least pretend to be. This was not apparent just yet.

“Awww, how sweeeeet! I definitely wouldn’t have noticed if everyone had selfishly just left poor little ole me here by myself for the next 4 hours!” Kokichi doted on him as though he was legitimately praising him, which he definitely wasn't, but it also wasn’t a complete lie — he probably would’ve noticed in 30 minutes at least, given his headphones were nearly dead. In retrospect, Kokichi was actually grateful that he was persistently reminded, considering there were free drinks on the line. If he had missed out on that, he probably would have had another episode regarding the fact no one gave enough of a shit to even try to make sure he was there.

Shuichi laughed mindlessly, not really processing how he had just been standing there, looking him over like how a horny biology scientist reads about axolotls for the first time — everything about him was interesting. His analysis mostly documented the small things, like how specifically he dyed his hair, how pleasant his face was in conjunction with his hair and eyes, and how the expressions he made were either rampantly fluid with so much emotion that it felt overwhelming to witness, or they were completely blank and unreadable. It all made him nervous, apparent by his unguided stare. Any small talk they were discussing right now was entirely in one ear, out the other. Shuichi barely remembered a word, and eventually they both ceased talking as Kokichi splayed out in further awareness, wondering what the fuck was happening.

Everyone had left by that point, all except for Kaede, who was witnessing this train wreck currently unfolding. She decided it would be best if she left, as well. I mean, Shuichi will call her if he needs anything. Definitely. It's not like she could bear to watch any longer without making things worse either way. Shuichi had averted his gaze and was kind of just vibing there like a dork. That was his own dilemma to solve, she figured.

"Geez, Shuichi! You look like you want to ask me something! Is the A Button not working anymore?" Kokichi asked mockingly after a certain duration had gone by, his curious expression quickly flushed with amusement while his cheeks instinctively brimmed with warmth. Bottled excitement nested itself inside his throat. Shuichi had the full brunt of his attention. Was this guy just reaaaaally shy, or was he… something else? Fuck if he knew. It didn't matter either way, it was unintentionally adorable and it made Kokichi feel like he was being kicked in the gut.

"Ah! Sorry, it's just that I... overthink too much." Shuichi was appalled that he was acting so odd, but found the right momentum to continue. "Did you want to walk together? I don't know this area that well, and it gives us more time to talk." He was accidentally holding his breath again, leaving a bitter pang against his chest that reminded him how badly he wanted to be _better_.

"Look, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but don't do that. Ever again. The suspense I just experienced for _thaaat_ casual of a question was **completely** uncalled for!" Kokichi rolled the words out more casually than blunt, his voice dripped with sarcasm before climbing emphasis on his theatrics, arm motions giving him the impression he was more amused than mad. The intense wave of anxiety Shuichi felt dissipated as he read his body language, warmth returning to his body. Inhaling deeply, he stifled out an awkward laugh, but Kokichi jumped up before he could say anything else. "Next time just tell me to get my sweet ass up so that we’re not late! Anyway, moving on, let’s walk and talk."

——

——

It was granted that the sunset was far too forthcoming this time of year, seeing as August was in its prime these last remaining weeks. It wasn't warm in the slightest, but not necessarily too cold. There was something about the way the breeze was gentle, and how the color palette of warm and vibrant tones manipulated the city in a manner that was almost possessive, that reminded Shuichi how much he loved this time of year. By the time the two had made it on the same street the restaurant was on, every light in the city had been lit, and the night life had been struck and started like fresh embers, a spark that will glow until sunrise awakened their reality again. This city was much larger than the small hometown that Shuichi was used to. The purple and yellow hues that swallowed them caused Kokichi's eyes to glimmer even more than they had before, but he was more caught up in the shimmer that glowed across Shuichi's own with every passing street light. The amazement in those eyes was clear as day — Shuichi was appreciating this walk more than anyone else he could have chosen to spend time with, was the realization Kokichi came to.

It felt like that they had talked about everything and nothing at once. They continued to walk as though they had the time to. They had time for what? The team dinner? Oh, no. That would come and go if they continued with so little awareness. Regardless, it still didn't feel like it mattered as much, because ultimately it all paled in comparison to _how much time they had_. You ask again — time for what? Neither of them could answer you. Everything would feel like fleeting, passing moments if it weren't for the storm clouds rolling across the dark sky, just as the weather forecast had told him they would, and how the cars that bustled back and forth contained frantic drivers concerned about their destinations. It was enough to bring one back to reality that _everything we do is with intent to be on a schedule_. Time was nothing but an invention that he would still rather forget, Shuichi decided. Routine and schedules only inspired fear when faced with uncertainty. Moments like these — that was all it took, to aspire a different outcome than your precious, fragile routines.

They took the time to talk, to wonder what hobbies one another were interested in, which Shuichi was pleased to learn that Kokichi was an artist, had a green thumb specifically for aquatic plants (anything terrestrial he could kill just by looking at), wished he could sing, and could make a 36 hour binge watching marathon feel like nothing. Oh, he also loved to eat and could shop like a god considering his budget was so tight. Kokichi never mentioned the fact that his hands could find themselves a bit _too_ deft -- that's probably not something to boast about to a detective you just met. There were some things he would keep secret for the simplicity of being spontaneous, it always felt empowering to have cards up your sleeve.

Shuichi had revealed he learned to play guitar (thanks to Kaede), was actually quite talented as a amateur makeup artist, absolutely loved to read, which lead to sometimes even trying to illustrate, and that he enjoyed watching most genre of documentaries, which he quickly corrected himself to include _media_ in general — even children’s shows could be well constructed and interesting to watch. That was all they had the time to reveal before they were at the doorsteps of the restaurant and were stepping inside, their voices fading into the hum of bustling activity that echoed throughout the building. Just before that, Kokichi had asked him if he watched deep sea documentaries. He'd decided he would remember that for another day. After explaining they had a reservation, one of the wait staff escorted them to their table, which everyone was already seated at. They were munching on appetizers, sharing memes and rambling about spontaneous crap. “Damn, about time.” Kaito scoffed, then exchanged looks with Kaede. It seemed innocent enough at the time, but Shuichi suspiciously observed them both before deciding he was just *not* going to ask. Except, he probably would. 

“So if I’m understanding this right, no matter which route you took, you both should have arrived here around 6:50, give or take. That means you’ve effectively wasted 17 minutes!” Keebo chimed in, a little too pleased with his deduction, but no one at the table actually seemed to know what time it really was judging by the way seemingly everyone flipped their phones in realization. 

"When you're new to a city, don't _you_ take the scenic route? I wouldn't call that a waste. _You know, actually, I would. If I was an ungrateful bitch._ " Kokichi replied back, muzzling the true emotion underneath his tone — the last remnants of his reply were hardly louder than a whisper upon his angry lips. He didn’t actually care enough to push it, he knew damn well that they were just being **slow** , but he didn’t see why it needed to be a reason to target them when everyone was perfectly fine left to their own devices. Nothing had to revolve around them, especially not _his_ business. Apparently, no one had even heard him being ‘petty’, he admitted that was exactly what it was to himself this time. Well, maybe Maki did, judging by the subtle shift in her glance. Kokichi did not care, and neither did she, evidently.

Kaede covered her mouth with her hand, which was irresponsibly difficult with the size of the smile on her face. "That's... surprisingly thoughtful of you, Kokichi. You know, I'm actually pretty proud of you right now!!" She could only hide it for maybe the first moment before changing her mind that she was actually moved by seeing Kokichi publicly act like a decent human being.

“Ahem! May I please ask that everyone take their seats and provide their undivided attention so that I may speak what has been on my mind?” Tsumugi called out before anyone could escalate the conversation. Kokichi, without missing a beat, had already seated himself before she could even finish her sentence. It was almost like he just didn’t want to be told what to do. Shuichi joined them at the table, his seat happened to be directly across from Kokichi’s and he ended up settled between Kaede and Kaito.

“Thank you! Now, I was just excited to announce that the debate club has been going steady for the last 10 months! We may not be the largest club, but we definitely have the most successful members. I just wanted to express my deepest gratitude that you all continue to attend each week’s club meeting, and attend our mass debates with true passion! Each day, our videos rise in popularity, and our channel gains more and more subscribers! We will be able to upgrade our recording and staging equipment in the near future thanks to all of this effort! Being short in numbers means nothing when we are *endowed* with creativity, skill and the ability to produce high quality content!” 

Tsumugi’s choice of wording provoked a quiet snort in Kokichi, for more reasons than the obvious one, which a few others had heard and couldn’t help but snort in response as well -- snorting is a chain effect, guys!! — all the while, some gave him, exclusively, a dirty look. _‘Hypocritical’_ , he thought. After Tsumugi had finished her briefing, the more enthusiastic members gave a small cheer while others finalized their scan on their menus.

“Woo~oow!!! We’re so cool!!! I can’t believe how awesome we are!!!” Kokichi started boasting in a manner that seemed too enthusiastic, but his tone suddenly cut, lacking any of the prior amusement it once wielded. “Mkay, that was fun and all, but let's get drunk now."

No one had anything negative to say to that, in fact it was probably one of the most agreeable things Kokichi had ever said. With free food and drinks at their leisure, everyone was getting along well. Shuichi had never been one to drink much, so he honestly couldn't say whether or not he _should_ drink, but hell, getting tipsy never hurt anyone. The wait staff moved like clockwork, taking all of their orders one by one.

If he had any constructive criticism for himself that night, it would have to be --  
He _probably shouldn't have let Kaito order for him_.


	3. Crepuscular

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [♫ Sharks ♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__o7RG3TAAw)
> 
> Staring at the in-crowd at a party all alone,  
> I'd probably have more fun playing video games at home.  
> I'm paranoid, paranoid, there's sharks in the swimming pool.  
> It's like I've been conditioned, brain washed to be ashamed. 

> Overwhelm  
>  _verb_  
>  To bury or drown beneath a huge mass.

If you were to approach him to ask him to expose his rival, there existed only one identity that would be able to spurn such contemplation onto his face — an expression that was harsh, rigid, and oh so undeserving on his otherwise delicate features.  


**Unfamiliarity.**

The definition flashed into your otherwise empty mind — the quality of not being known or recognized — lack of knowledge or experience of something.

How many times were there that you could recall where lack of familiarity left you vulnerable, exposed, in a scenario that you could have otherwise avoided? For him, the count was considerable — moments he would had appreciated that the fangs that left him wounded, would had only been recalled as a graze against his flesh, and that he wished he had been given the opportunity to learn to flee before being preyed upon. To run was his instinct — perhaps, to _fight_ , would had been more valuable, against a foe whose accomplice was **struggle**.

—

Throughout all of the bustle that was the steakhouse, which was occupied by an absurd amount of people for a _Wednesday_ night, their table seemed to boast the most volume despite their smaller numbers in comparison to some of the groups near them. _“What can I get for you?”_ Drowning everything out so that he may recover for the time being, it wouldn’t be the first time he did not notice something was amiss as he concentrated on seemingly nothing before pressing the home button on his phone. “Excuse me, sir? Do you need more time?” The server had finally caught his attention, very much to his horror. 

“O-Oh!!” He stammered, grabbing at the menu closest to him. How does one be seated at a restaurant, and then proceed to forget to order? Shuichui felt like an absolute failure. “I’m… not actually that hungry, —” How could he be? “— Could I have a few more minutes?” Yet, despite every stab in his heart, he didn’t cave in and apologize for something he realized _wasn’t a big deal_. Kokichi, Rantaro, Kaede and Kaito all looked at him as though they were sharing the same thought — how could someone not be hungry in the presence of _free food_?

“You know, even if you’re not hungry now, you could save the leftovers for tomorrow. I do it all the time.” Rantaro suggested collectedly, in which Kaito was quick to agree with. “Yeah, Shuichi!! How do you think you’re going to stay healthy and focused enough to play in our debates if you don’t eat enough?! You should get the largest ribeye on the menu, and however many sides you want!” That… seemed almost exploitative, though? Shuichi ended up deciding that none of this came out of Tsumugi’s personal budget — it was probably the Academy’s, in which case he could justify everyone being a little excessive. His sweats were even more apparent with how intoxicatingly _warm_ the air inside the establishment was. Even Keebo had already left, because he didn't want to overheat.

“That would be fine, honestly. I’m not in any particular mood for anything.” Shuichi replied after going over the options on the menu. It was a steakhouse. They had badass steaks. What was he expecting? “Er, any recommendations as to what I should drink?” This was probably the question to cause the most _discord_ among the table. Shuichi ended up deciding he would just try a pineapple cocktail, per Kokichi’s suggestion, and Kaito told him he’d just order everything for him so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it. Alright, that simplified things.

“Shuichi.” Rantaro’s calm, mellow voice hummed out. “This isn’t meant to sound rude, but honestly, you look like you'd be a complete lightweight. Are you?” With that question, Kaede immediately started snorting and reeling in giggles, and the betrayal on Shuichi’s face was telling. He’d may as well have called him _bottom passing_. “No! Well, I don’t drink much. I never had a reason to. But I wouldn’t consider myself a lightweight!” The smirk Rantaro presented toward him made him feel ever so slightly more heated — it was a little infuriating, how he seemed to be searching him for weakness. It probably wasn’t like that at all, though. “Well, I only asked because I was concerned. That’s all.” The other murmured before starting discussion with Kaito as though the exchange never took place. Shuichi knew he was getting worked up over nothing, he couldn’t even remember why he had been so defensive in the first place — with so many eyes on him, his brain was too conscious.

Kokichi had observed Shuichi’s demeanor during his interaction with Rantaro, and felt a twisted twinge of impulse spear him. “Ooh, if it turns out Shuichi _is_ a fragile lightweight, I can just finish his drinks for him~! Don’t you worry about wasting Tsumugi-chan’s money, Shuichi~!” He didn’t know why he pounced so quickly at the opportunity to tease, but seeing Shuichi riled up was just too much fun to pass on. The glance he received from the boy was different from any other look he had seen from him before. It was bold and disproving, with passive intent to make one reconsider their actions. “Just kidding!! You should get totally drunk and have fun with me, Shuichi!” Release, bait, and hook again — the way he teased the boy felt more tactical than it did when he played with others. The breathy laugh Rantaro expressed felt almost like praise to Kokichi. This was the moment Rantaro had caught onto his interest, unknowingly sharing Kaede’s own suspicions.

“I will, because I’m _not_ a lightweight.” Was Shuichi’s only response, his voice stern in its statement. His eyes locked with Kokichi's as though to solidify his resolve. Ah, great. Now they definitely had an upper edge against him. He was now committed to holding his composure for the rest of the night, no matter what it took. Kokichi was enjoying this change of pace -- Shuichi wasn't someone who bended _that_ easily, apparently. 

Staff poured out from the kitchen, bringing an endless onslaught of plates, and the amount of food chaotically fitted onto their table was a horrific sight — it was like watching a game of Tetris, except the person playing just happened to be really, _really, bad_. Or maybe the RNG was just incredibly randomized. He felt suffocated sitting next to Kaito, who had easily ordered them both enough food to feed them an additional 2 nights. Kaede had shuffled away from them both in order to feel comfortable in her own corner. The table was now quiet besides comments on how delicious their food was. Once their stomaches were modestly filled, beverages slowly began to disappear — and for some, not so slowly. The table was getting louder as time passed, increasingly chaotic. Kokichi was 3 drinks in, having stole one from Tsumugi. Kaito had taken **both** of Maki’s drinks, in which she finally reacted by snatching Tsumugi’s last drink and downed it in one, continous swallow. Oh, _fuck_. Maki meant business. Everyone’s reactions were about the same. He could have swore that Kaito broke out into a sweat after that.

Shuichi had no idea what Kaito had ordered for him. The pineapple drink that Kokichi told him to get was clearly there, and it tasted amazing. The last remants of alcohol entered his body and he sulked, honestly wishing he had gotten another one. Sweet drinks were irresistible to him. Now, it was time for him to try whatever it was that Kaito had ordered for him. The moment the beverage entered his mouth, he thought he was going to die. This… tasted absolutely, horrendously worse than anything he could had possibly imagined. It _burned_ , the pain nearly causing him to wretch. One swallow in, he coughed in exasperation, sitting the glass back down frantically. The display easily caught the attention of Kaede, Rantaro _and_ Kokichi, somewhat.

“Kaito, what the hell is this?” It was the first time anyone had heard him use a swear, let alone accuse someone so directly — it wasn’t what he intended to do, but with the action done, he fought and subdued his first impulse to apologize for something that was harmless. Kokichi would had made a cheeky remark if he weren’t busy chugging whatever he could steal off the table. Taken off guard, Kaito looked bewildered. “Shit, you wanted to get drunk, right? I ordered you something that’ll actually get you drunk! Not that fruity, girly shit!” The taller male slurred, sounding as though he was as hurt as he was surprised, and Shuichi felt offended that he was already feeling flushed and tipsy from the pineapple drink by itself. They bantered briefly in good play, others amused that Shuichi could have such a smart mouth -- Kaito asked Maki to back him up, but she just laughed, amused by their antics and blatantly not taking his side of things. It all encouraged him even more to stop hesitating.

“So, are you actually going to drink that?” Rantaro was staring directly at him — he didn’t know whether or not he was asking for his drink, or trying to urge him on, but fuck it. Shuichi took a long, committed swallow from the large glass — it contained maybe three times the amount of liquid that his other drink held. He stopped when he couldn’t take it anymore, the burning in his throat and nostrils made him feel like his brain was short circuiting. Shuichi gasped to catch his breath once he reached mid-way, unable to think at all, hand reaching to pull his hat down to hide his brows furrowed in a grimace, then moving to rest his palm over his mouth as he embraced the sensation rippling through him. ‘Oh, that’s _hot_ , but also a little _pathetic_ ,’ Kokichi had thought to himself. He had easily consumed double the amount of alcohol than anyone else at the table — Shuichi on the other hand seemed incredibly sensitive to alcohol’s effects. Hmm, he was already in it, may as well win it. _Yoink_. Shuichi’s glass was now his, the detective's drink shamelessly already pouring into his own mouth.

Shuichi sat there in a stalemate with himself, the shock to his system rendering him incapable of acting like a normal human being — eyes that were once tightly shut finally opened as he gained control over his nausea. He wasn't having fun anymore, and it was entirely his fault for getting ahead of himself. At least he wasn’t acting like _Kaito_ , who was slurring and losing his train of thought every sentence. Kaito had even obeyed Kokichi’s request to _awoooooooooo_ when the table had somehow briefly reached the topic of… nevermind, you don’t want to know. All you needed to know is that Kokichi was a little demon when he was intoxicated — well, his mouth was, anyway. No, don’t think about his mouth, don’t even look at him right now. Shuichi’s brain was a blur, he could only pay half attention and his senses were overly responsive to _everything_. 

Kokichi was easily the life of the table -- bursting with humorous lines and some of the wittiest remarks he had ever heard. There was no shortage of topics as long as he was there. He was rough, _fearless_. There was no ounce of hesitance in anything that he did or said, and Shuichi found himself embarassed as he realized he was admiring these details yet again. Kokichi had noticed that out of everyone at the table, it was only Shuichi who sat there in silence, listening to him more intently than anyone else did, golden eyes occasionally flashing from beneath that hat -- Kokichi hated it, it pissed him off, how it hid his pretty face and the flutter of his eyelashes each time he blinked. It was like he was trying to hide behind something that didn’t actually exist.

—

—

Time continued to fly by, intoxication gradually being replaced with fatigue. Everyone was slowing down, except for Kokichi, who was as wide open as ever. Food was now being packed into to-go boxes, but they still had a good hour and a half remaining to hang out there before they needed to leave. Their server dared to ask if anyone wanted dessert, terrified that they would need to go prepare their hazmat suit for what could happen if anyone agreed. “Oh, me!! Me!!! Bring me that one massive ass chocolate cake, the one with ice cream! And when I say extra cherries, _I mean extra cherries_.” Of course, Kokichi was hellbent on getting the most disgustingly sweet dessert that the place served. Shuichi felt like vomiting _for_ him, just at the thought. It probably wasn’t even the idea of cake making him feel that way, he remembered as he continued to sit there in his half lidded daze, somewhat tuned in on what the others were discussing, thankful that most of them had calmed.

We couldn't tell you this with any more condolences. The deed was done, the forbidden dessert was brought out, and it was massive. This would be the quote that haunts all of them for the rest of the year. You could describe Kokichi’s stare as one filled with regret, upon figuring he could stubbornly only eat maybe a quarter of the cake before he sulked back into a state that spelled he was moments away from involuntary disaster. It was his turn — _he_ wasn't having fun anymore. No one could imagine the turmoil he was actually experiencing, despite his reassurance that he was _fine_. They'd beg to differ, it didn’t make them feel any better for him — it made them all horrified that he’d willingly attempt something so daunting. That moment when Kokichi up and left without a word, no one was surprised. At all.

Shuichi’s consciousness was building strength, but he was definitely still not 100% there, which was very apparent by his flushed face and empty stares. Kaede could tell that easily herself. Once he could hold conversation again, still fading in and out of his thoughts, him and Kaede had been idly talking about transport arrangements, which floors their dorms were on, and so forth. Conveniently, he learned most of their rooms were in the same building, just on different floors, besides a few of them who shared the same floor. He was present enough to retain this information, he hoped. Their small talk moved on to more laid-back and personal subjects, which Rantaro joined with definite curiosity in Shuichi’s background and interests. Kaito was actually half asleep, so Maki was discussing various weapons with Tsumugi, both of them sharing images of guns and knives — if you asked anyone, they would say with confidence that the two were equals as gigantic nerds.

Far too much time had passed, and strangely enough, Shuichi's anxiety was pitter-pattering in and out of existence. With more healthy concern than anything, the half hour that passed since Kokichi's departure was driving him crazy now. "Hey, where are you going?" Kaede asked, pulling on his sleeve and frowning when Shuichi had wordlessly stood from his seat — he was somewhat woozy, having been in his chair for a while now, and he quickly stabilized his stance. "Bathroom." He didn't feel the need to over explain, he just wanted to make sure Kokichi wasn't laying in a puddle of his own... ugh!

This bathroom only had 3 stalls, and they were all swung wide open. That was... odd. Where did Kokichi go? Outside, maybe? It had to be impossible for him to have gotten far. Autopilot steered his legs out into the parking lot, where he spotted Kokichi sat in a bench next to the building. Man, he looked rough. "Are you alright?" Shuichi asked while he sat himself beside Kokichi -- he knew it was a stupid question, but he was too tired to communicate anything else. " **No.** " Kokichi didn't even lift his head from the slouch it rested in. Shuichi had internally promised he would get drunk and have fun with him, it made his stomach twist with guilt when he realized Kokichi wasn't having a good time.

Shuichi felt his breath hold as he reached his hand towards his classmate's shoulder with the intent to comfort him, anticipation peeling inside him. Before he could follow through, the atmosphere shifted all of a sudden, and he jumped back when the other burst up and started shouting. "Actually, I'm perfectly fucking fine! I just want to go home! It's too goddamn hot here, that's why I'm sitting outside freezing my tits off instead — **and nobody fucking cares**!" Oh. The genuine frustration in Kokichi's voice was sobering, and he could understand why. The pitter of Shuichi's heart started to become noticable, again. Nervousness. Concern. “But noooo, everyone wants to sit and take their time — I have no fucking clue why, it’s sweatier than Satan’s taint in there!” Shuichi couldn’t disagree with that.

"Then why didn’t you just-" Shuichi was cut off by a phone being thrown at his face. "Here. Call my neighbor. I don't want to talk to her." Shuichi's hands were trembling, by some miracle he had caught the device despite his exhaustion and slowed reflexes weighing against him. “Was a quick time event really that necessary?” Shuichi pouted at him, and Kokichi obviously wasn’t having any of it. “Yes. It was. I’m upset. I throw things when I’m upset. Kapiche?” Kokichi’s bluntness perfectly matched how careless he was with his phone. Shuichi found it odd that he didn't want to call his neighbor himself — was that why he was waiting for them outside? — but he complied anyway, shaking his head with slight amusement in how endearing his behavior was. "Fine. I'll go get our food when I’m done.“

" _Our_ food?" Kokichi questioned, tilting his head. “I thought _I_ was the one leaving, not you.” He had assumed, once again, that him leaving by himself wasn’t something to discuss alternative outcome of. Shuichi picked his next words carefully, and none of them presented their usual unsureness. "Our rooms are on the same floor, — and we’re supposed to hang out, remember? I figured we’d ride together." **Oh.** He was attentive. Kokichi had expected them all to disperse into their own groups after the event was over — he was, more times than not, typically the one to be left to his own, without any acknowledgement from anyone. The end of “hanging out” was signalled by everyone going off together in their own groups to do other things, all while leaving him behind. Kokichi dropped their eye contact first this time, eyes gracefully casting toward the highway, deep in thought. He wondered when he had become so used to being this lonely. Sure, he had people to get drunk with, he had group DMs, he had social media presence, but there was a different word for… this. “Oh. Yeah. That would make sense.” It didn’t to him — this was new.

\--

\--

Tonight was the night for _worsts_ , apparently, and Shuichi continued to be incredibly thankful that he was still tipsy and incapable of taking anything too seriously. That was definitely the worst phone call he has had in his entire life. The panic and onslaught of graphic accusations, how it felt like he was talking to a porn magazine with its own agenda, the back and forths of Shuichi’s bewildernent and eventual hysterics, all of it. "Nahhh, I'm just fuckin' with ya. I'll see you soon." That was the end of it, her closing statement after pelting him with loaded, sexually depraved statements. Kokichi had been witness to it all, bearing a smirk that told him this was all intentional. “I… have questions about your neighbor, Kokichi.” He tried not to start laughing again, and Kokichi grinned. “Hey, that makes two of us! But I still don’t want to talk to her right now.” Everything that was forgotten in moments would definitely be recalled in the morning, and he probably wouldn't know what to do with any of it. One thing Kokichi would not forget, though, was how Shuichi had not bothered his hat even once during the entire time they sat together. Kokichi wanted to take it off for him.

Their ride would be here in the next 10 minutes, so Shuichi had returned inside and started to collect their boxes. The atmosphere in the building felt oppressive and draining compared to how he felt light as air prior. Rantaro lifted an eyebrow when he noticed Shuichi taking not only his food, _but_ Kokichi's as well. Kaede was the first to question it. "Uhh, Shuichi? You’re leaving us? Already!?"

"We're getting a ride back to the dorms, I don't really want to walk back." Shuichi honestly sounded more exhausted than Kaede had ever heard him, and he was. His hat was pulled over his face so that he wouldn't have to make eye contact with anyone. Today was one of the most exhausting days in his entire life. Everything was so much stimuli that he didn't understand how he clung on, but again, he's going to thank the alcohol. "You know _we_ can just get a ride, right?" Kaede asked innocently enough, but he could pick up on her concern. He simply nodded. "Er, are you staying at _his_ place, orrrr..?" Kaede pressed again, slipping that she knew more than she let on. "His? You mean Kokichi? Y-Yeah, for a couple of hours." A small stammer interrupted his confidence, realizing the embarrassment of such a question and that they would probably become the target of gossip. It's just his apartment. People visit each other all the time. So what if they were both under the influence, barely knew each other, and had literally just met? It didn't matter, they shared the same circle, and Shuichi was worried about him. That was friendship, right? Someone had to take initiative, and clearly no one else was doing that, which he thought was odd. He was too drained to bring it up, and decided to simply wish everyone a good night before departing.

By the time he was back — which didn’t take very long, by the way — Kokichi looked like he was falling asleep where he was sitting, eyes squeezed shut while he leaned over, both of his hands gripping onto the bench -- it was a position that didn't look comfortable at all. The silence between them was awkward while they waited. They were in that stage where they were just quiet, like some weird intermission was weighing them down. It clicked -- they needed _water_. How could he fucking forget to drink WATER? "You know, I'm pretty sure when I threw up earlier, it shortened my lifespan." Kokichi's tone was a mix between contemplation and a whine. "Maybe you shouldn't drink half your body weight in alcohol, then. You don’t have much left that can get any shorter." Shuichi fired at him, and Kokichi ripped forth a vibrant laugh that sounded as though he was genuinely taken off guard. 

"WOOOOW!! That's so mean!!" That exhale swiftly became a uproar and he swung his legs back and forth, his head thrown upward, some indication that he was indeed still alive — or at least animated. He returned to drama dressed casualty, just as sudden as it had all transpired. "But, I think you’re wrong. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't ordered cake, I would have been a-okay!" Kokichi knew his irresponsibility with alcohol was extremely questionable, he could feel it in his liver, but he'd deny it outright. Shuichi met the other's smile with a indifferent frown, mouth agape with wonder as to if he actually believed his own words.

Shuichi had a mission, and that mission was to hydrate Kokichi before allowing him to go to sleep that night. "No, everything was fine until your body needed water. I haven't seen you drink anything all evening." Oh wow, that was a good speculation, actually. No one had ever given enough of a shit about him to observe his water drinking habits, of all things. "How'd you get so smart, Shuichi~? Brains are pretty hard to come by here." Kokichi was looking at him with a mischievous smirk, idle hands now relaxed enough to partake in frivolous activities — he busied one by allowing it to twirl a finger in his hair, thoroughly shifting through the strands, lock by lock.

"What’s your plan, by the way? Are you planning to tie me up and shove a gardening hose down my throat, or something? You seem to _know a lot about me_." Teasing someone with such honest intent needed to be illegal, he thought. Shuichi’s abrupt laugh came out almost comparable to a bark, his shock apparent. “No, no. There's no need for… **that**. I was thinking a hamster bottle taped to your bed post would be effective enough.” He retaliated, expecting another outburst from Kokichi, but instead the other male remained composed and intent, eyes locked to his, voice alluring and honestly kind of… sexy. “You think I’d use that voluntarily? You’re disappointing me, you know. All I’m hearing is that you’d still need to tie me up.” Uhh, wait, excuse me? Was he— “ **But hey, hahahahaha, what do I know!?** I’m drunk! Don’t listen to me!”

And that was when a pink lamborghini with gigantic anime tits decaled over the hood pulled up.


	4. Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [♫ Parrot ♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQgoIZ3nSTE)  
> 
> 
> Most often I stay level headed as they say I'm on the ball.  
> Sometimes my mind wanders and I don't know where he'll end up at all.
> 
> I've said a fair share of stupid things that I can't hide.  
> My wonderful friends just roll their eyes, stay by my side.

Shuichi was speechless. He couldn’t even formulate a sentence about the scene unfolding in front of him. Never in his entire life had he ever thought to prepare a reaction to something like this — but there they were — two glistening bazongas, teats of massive proportions, foreboding nothing but suffer on his poor sanity. Face already tinted with embarrassment from Kokichi’s drunken flirting, he just pulled his hat over his face and let out a deep sigh of acceptance. This _really was_ going to be the longest day of his life. 

“Yaaaay!! Miuuu~!! Just when I was starting to worry!” Kokichi leapt from the bench and announced his affections, a wide grin on his face. The fuck you talking about ‘Kichi? Didn’t you JUST say you didn’t want to talk to her? “Alright bitches, get in! You nerds just interrupted the most important stream in fucking history!” The girl inside the car angrily fussed, the door closest to them automatically lifting itself upward and inviting them inside. 

“Awww, but Miuuuu, aren’t we more important than your silly streams? How could you say that we’re an interruption!” Kokichi whined, sounding genuinely upset and like he could start crying any second now. He threw himself into the tiny backseat, taking the unconventional route of climbing over the front seat rather than propping it forward and sliding behind it. “ **HEY!!** ”

Miu sounded like she was going to pop an entire gasket. “HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO FUCKING QUIT THAT!! Why are you like this?! My seats!!” Her voice made Shuichi jump, but Kokichi’s laughter implied that he wasn’t effected at all. “Next time you want to s-step on something priceless, y-you can just step all over me instead. Anything but my car! Please!” That’s, uh, a interesting way to put it. The interior of the car was now filled with wailing. Pitiful, exuberant wailing. Wailing that brought Shuichi memories of his murder investigative documentaries, some of which were ridiculously over dramatized. He half contemplated just going back inside — no offense to Kokichi.

“See? This only backs up my theory that we’re _not_ an interruption! We’re an enhancement! This is quality content, Miu. Drama, hot and fresh, for your viewers!" Kokichi boasted proudly, ignoring her distress as he was too focused on changing her mind. Did he want to be part of her live streams or something? Again, why not just say it? 

”Viewers and streamers share similar interests, you fucking moron.“ Miu scoffed while patting away at whatever invisible residue she saw left on her car — his shoes weren’t even that dirty, if they were muddy then Shuichi could justify her reaction but… they weren’t. ”What makes you think they’d want to see you trampling all over my sexy, amazing, one-of-a-kind car seats?! You were scrambling around like you were playing a quick round of whack-a-cock, and needed one more dick up your ass to win the round!“ Uh, excuse me, but is that an actual game? Because that sounded way too specific.

Oh… oh no. Don’t do it. ”Oh my god that’s fucking brilliant!! You **have** to make that a thing!! Do you know how famous you’d be?! That’s a much better idea than including us in your silly streams!!“ Nope, he did it. Kokichi was fully on board with all of his support in tote, not one ounce of shame reflected on his features. Miu had finished wiping the seat by now, so Shuichi took the moment to wordlessly sink into the car, tight lipped and baffled.

“Make what a thing?! Whack-a-cock? That doesn’t abide by the community guidelines of my streaming website, so it’s not like I could hype it up. I guess I could sell the idea to some pornographic company, though.” Miu commented dismissively, somewhat flustered by the fact that someone entertained her joke as an actual good idea. Shuichi wondered to himself if a game like that would abide by ANY community guideline.

"Huh, it sounds like you’re too wrapped up in the opinions and interests of others, still. That’s holding you back a little, don’t’cha think, Miu? If I were one of your viewers, I’d be disappointed in how _boring_ you actually are!” Kokichi pouted, intentionally using her own words to play against her. What a stupid thing to be a smart ass about -- but at least he supposedly wasn’t being genuine prior.

Miu started to shift into drive while grumbling all kinds of obscene insults, her fluster diminished by the reveal of his apparent lie, but he quickly placed a hand onto her shoulder before she could move the car. “Wait a minute!” He leaned forward next to Shuichi’s ear, who didn’t move an inch once he felt his breath resting against his skin. “Shuichiii, you should sit back here instead. I don’t want you to be lonely on the way back~! We’re so rude, leaving you out of our conversation like that.

Uh, first of all, how could he be lonely when they’re all in the same car? And second of all, he would highly prefer **never** being invited to a conversation similar to that. Shuichi suppressed the shudder and sensation of goosebumps forming at the rasp of warmth grazing across his skin, and decided it was best not to argue. “Ah.. I’m not upset about it, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Fumbling with the seat, he managed to finally slide it forward and make himself comfortable next to Kokichi. 

“You better not be thinking about giving him a handy on the way back. I don’t want to see EITHER of your cum stains in MY car!” Miu grumbled, speeding them away from the restaurant as though she was now on a timed mission to get them home and the fuck out of her car. “Huh, I guess I’ll reconsider it. It’s not my fault that you didn’t get leather seats! _Juuuuuust kiiiiidding~!_ ” 

Kokichi’s responses to her didn’t help that Shuichi just wanted to slam his face into the window and never look anyone in the eyes again. The worst part was that he couldn't tell if Kokichi was intentionally flirting anymore -- he didn't seem _that_ incompetent based on his actions and words. Shuichi couldn’t decide if it was a bad thing or not that he actually somewhat enjoyed it, despite the odd circumstances of it all.

“Uh, anyway, earlier you mentioned that… you were hosting a stream before you picked us up?” Shuichi grasped at straws to change the subject, and found one that he thought would be distracting enough to make him stop being aware of… things. “Oh, yeah! Kokichi said you’re fresh meat around here, right?” Miu replied, which only provoked more questions in his brain — when did Kokichi ever say that? “Y-Yeah, I just transferred here a couple of days ago.” He hasn’t mentioned anything like that the entire time he’s been present, but he let it go for now. 

“Hmph, that makes sense. If you weren’t new, I was going to ask you if you were raised by oblivious sewer rats. Everyone around here knows that I build the most amazing inventions known to mankind~! I usually host tech streams where I experiment, showcase my inventions and try out suggestions for the hell of it. You from a small town or something?” Huh, Miu actually wasn’t a terrible conversationalist so far. That all sounded really impressive, in fact. 

“Yeah, the town I’m from is… really small. We would travel for investigations, but I spent most of my time either at our farm house or the library. Funnily enough, our library is the only thing my town is noted for, besides its rich farmland — it has one of the most extensive collection of books and information in the region.” Shuichi didn’t notice he was rambling at this point until his thoughts abruptly stopped, tuning out the world around him — Kokichi and Miu resumed conversation, probably about him, but his brain neglected them both. 

He had realized how much he missed his home. There were a lot of things that he ached to see again — his dogs and horses came to mind first — but recollection of the environment itself made him feel homesick. Shuichi used to be surrounded by natural greenery just by stepping out of his front door, his Uncle grew a lot of their food, and everything was easily accessible by bike. 

This place was nothing like that. The plant life here was controlled, groomed back to appear as ‘perfect’ as possible, and in limited variety. The highway felt dangerous, but at least it was clean and spacious. Massive buildings towered above and throughout the entire stretch of territory, making the stars feel further away than ever.

The only positive note was that the countryside wasn’t too far of a drive to be able to fit into his schedule, he hoped. That’s not to say that he disliked this city, it was certainly beautiful in its own charm and gave him endless options to pick from when it came to activities — but it was simply different, and had nothing in common with his simple home.

“Hey, are you using your ears or your dick to listen right now? You should pay attention when a hot girl is talking to you!” It was time to come back to reality, and he apologetically asked Miu to repeat herself — though in honesty, he felt even more repulsed than before after that comment. Shuichi couldn’t care less about a so-called ‘hot girl’, sorry Miu. “I asked if you’d like to see my inventions sometime! You and Cock Itchy back there should swing by my studio this weekend. I’ll show you some reaaaally cool shit and you’ll be all amazed and crap.” 

That was when he suddenly felt _legs_ drape over top of his — he glanced toward his left to see that Kokichi decided now was a good time for him to sprawl out and make himself _extra_ comfortable, even though they shouldn’t be that far from the apartments by now. Kokichi gave him a quick glance for approval before laying his head down and closing his eyes. This… is fine. 

Anyway, refocusing his thoughts, he wandered back on the dialogue he’d just heard — Miu has her own studio? Well, that should be obvious. The dorm rooms weren’t tiny by any means, they were quite generous in space, but they definitely couldn’t fit the amount of tools and machinery he imagined she needed to use. “Oh! Yeah! That’d be really cool! I… have a lot that I need to get done still, but I’ll keep you updated.”

With that, he took Miu’s number and sent her a text so that she would know his. This whole friendship thing was pretty chill so far, he had to admit — everyone has been surprisingly receptive. It was like being a student threw all your fucks out the window. Before pocketing his phone, he noticed Kaede had left him a few texts, but didn’t want to accidentally ignore Miu again, so decided he’d reply later.

After what felt like the longest carride, they'd arrived, which only brought another problem rather than relief. "I could talk about a hundred more amazing things that I've done around here — especially for your little debate club — but I gotta dip now." Miu jumped out and stood there for maybe 15 impatient seconds before ducking her head back into the car to see what the hold up was. 

Shuichi was awkwardly shifting himself out from underneath Kokichi, trying not to trip and stumble out. With enough persistence, he managed to get out of the car. "Did he seriously fall asleep?? Grab your little fuck buddy and let's go already. I don't have time for this." Miu groaned, irritation increasing by each moment they stood there. 

"U-Um, but-" Goddamn it, why was he worrying about how she worded things? Nothing Miu said mattered. That's just how Miu was. It only took 20 minutes of knowing her to learn this. "I mean… We could just try to wake him up.“ Shuichi suggested, which inspired Miu to march over and start vigorously shaking the boy while yelling at him to wake up. How Kokichi _didn’t_ wake up was a mystery to him.

”S-Stop! Why are you being so rough?!“ He ran over and tried to end her rampage, honestly a little panicked by how painful her actions looked. ”Ugh, then just pick him up! You’re making this too complicated!“ That… wasn’t too far from the truth, but she was making things _unnecessary_.

Shuichi stared at Kokichi's sleeping body. Okay. You just have to pick him up and carry him all the way to his room. It's fine. Everything is perfectly fine. Even if you don’t know whether or not he wants you to touch him that way, there’s no other choice in this situation. Even though there were a few people still walking through the parking lot. If he decided he to dislike Shuichi after this, he couldn’t really blame him. Deep breath, okay, let’s— **Thud!**

Aaaaand, Kokichi was no longer laying in the car. He was now laying pathetically against the ground, head rolled backward in a fashion that struck him as too angelic and innocent for the situation he was in. Miu loudly pretended to dust her hands off, then reached into her bra and pulled out a small remote. The car's headlights flashed and its successful lock indication noise, which sounded like the UwU emoji by the way, went off in triumph. "There, problem solved! For me anyway, I don't know how you'll be able to get it up with him when he's like that! You seem like you don't get your rocks off often either way, hah-hahaha!“ 

Miu’s parting words stung him with embarassment for more personal reasons to him than simply at face value, but that was a complicated backstory in itself that he didn’t have time to dwell on. Why he took some things so personally, he didn’t know. ”S-See you, Miu.“ That simplified things at least. A few moments passed as he watched Kokichi continue sleeping — he needed a break, and the way the boy breathed so lightly relaxed him. It was a little… too light.

"Kokichi, please... There’s no way you’re _actually_ asleep right now." Shuichi finally spoke, and was seriously about to accept his defeat as he kneeled over the boy’s unresponsive body. He was ready to lay on the ground and join him for a good dirt nap at this rate — he just couldn’t believe something like this could happen, and if it did, he would lose his actual mind. That was when he suddenly heard a whisper. "... Is she gone? Like, did she go inside? …" Huh? Was Kokichi talking about Miu? Well, duh, of course he was, but why?? 

"...Yes...? She left a while ago." Shuichi whispered back. Why were they whispering? He hadn’t really observed anything of importance going on, but played along nonetheless. "Oh!! Great!! Now I can get up! Thank god, I reaaaaally didn't want to talk to that whore!" Kokichi sprung up, perfectly alert and without a wink of sleep in his eyes. "But, you already did! You JUST talked to her!" Shuichi being completely exasperated was an understatement.

"Huh? What do you mean? When did I _ever_ do that?" Shuichi was convinced he was going to have a **massive** headache, but then he remembered — this was just Kokichi’s sense of humor. He felt stupid for a moment, but couldn't blame himself -- Kokichi's acting was convincing, and Shuichi wasn't at his sharpest currently.

"Ugh, what I mean is, I want to go inside." Shuichi pushed himself up onto his feet and sighed, hand to his forehead — whether or not Kokichi had an actual issue with something wasn’t relevant right now. He was frustrated, but not explicitly with Kokichi alone. It was mostly the fact he could have handled the situation better, as well as his own feelings. 

Confusion tensed his eyebrows and Kokichi acknowledged that — what he said next made him feel like his mind was being read. “You seem to be overthinking things here, that’s my _honest_ opinion. I admit it, I’m an asshole sometimes. But that’s no reason to get this worked up over silly antics, dummy head. Miu just made a big deal out of nothing.” Kokichi told him matter-of-fact, dropping his previous act of naivety, and… his words were surprisingly reassuring in a way. 

Shuichi remained quiet, but his brows eased and so did his body. “Uh oh! I got too caught up in my feelings! I couldn’t just let my poor Shuichi struggle over something so ridiculous, so I opened my big, stupid mouth again! My bad! Guess I can’t help acting so _lame_ sometimes.” 

There was no surprise when Kokichi shifted moods this this time, as Shuichi knew that he was taking too long to reply — but what did he mean by “again”? Was he talking about the times that he covered for Shuichi? Like the instance where he prevented Kaede from embarrassing him, and the time he countered against Keebo for drawing attention to them both? Ah..! Overthinking was an understatement when describing Shuichi, it could be his biography at this point. Realizing that he was starving Kokichi of the validation he so obviously was requesting, he quickly thought of a response.

“No, no! That's not true at all, you’re not acting lame in the slightest! What you said was very helpful and considerate. If anything, I was the one getting caught up in irrational feelings.” Shuichi told him with sincerity, completely relieved once he saw Kokichi’s smile return — he swore he could reach over and pet him on the head, but refrained.

“By the way, how long are we going to stand next to BigTits McGee?” Not the response he was expecting, as usual, but he can’t say he disagreed. “R-Right. Let's go.” As Shuichi started walking away, he heard a whine. “Awww, so you’re not actually going to carry me? After all of that suspense? Siiiiigh…” Ugh, don't say it like that! That's gonna make him feel guilty!

\--

\--

[♫ Peace and Tranquility ♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHvhps47Lmc)

Time proceeded like normal again. All of the strain that made him feel heavy and anxious was lifted off of him — there were no more expectations -- well, maybe there were, but they were hardly an issue. They could just be stupid and drunk together, Shuichi no longer needed to think about anything he said or did anymore.

Stepping out of the elevator, the scenery in front of him was breath taking. Their hallway was lined with a glass wall that separated the main interior from the balcony, which was decorated with plants and areas to relax or dine — this floor was one of the highest, and it made you feel like you could see everything in town.

This was the first time he saw this view at night, it was a stark contrast that felt unreal compared to what he was typically used to. The building had a complicated design, he imagined it was essential it be built this way in order have a view like this while still housing a decent amount of students — not to mention to support how spacious it was.

Turning the corner, Kokichi led him to his room, hands cold and clammy from how long they’d been standing around outside. He couldn't resist pressing them onto Shuichi as they walked in after he'd opened the door, and he grinned at how the other boy quickly turned his head around and simply asked -- "Ok but why?"

The entrance was essentialy a path directly to his bedroom and the floor plan was very open — a quaint kitchen to the right, that was openly merged into the hall with his living room to the left. The dim lighting was soothing to his eyes, and he happily left his belongings by the front door as he took his shoes off. Kokichi’s apartment looked about like how you would imagine it. It wasn’t neat, but it wasn’t a complete mess. 

Everything had its own little section — art supplies lined the furthest side of the living room on a dresser next to a large window (which he lucked out on by getting a exterior room to the side of the building), video games piled up on a shelf, pens and notebooks left out on the coffee table for convenience, a charging cable left dangling across the couch (it was a sectional and looked very comfortable), pillows and blankets that had fallen onto the floor, a couple of half finished drinks sitting out — all of those little things that stated that he did at least care about order, but only to an extent. 

One thing he wasn’t expecting, was to see a couple of heavily planted aquariums — their water was perfectly crystal clear, the plants were thriving, and the effort put into maintaining these tanks was obvious. One was a 25 gallon cube tank, and the other, a 40 gallon breeder. 

Their placement didn’t make the size too apparent, there was plenty of space between the undivided kitchen and living room to walk around completely uninterrupted. Also, _damn_ , it was a little chilly even in here — it wasn’t a bad thing though, it was definitely a improvement over how cold it currently was outside.

Kokichi strolled ahead and turned the TV in the living room on, tossing a couple of PS4 controllers onto the couch — the screen felt huge inside the room, but in reality probably wasn’t too impressive if you’d put it in a room that was longer than taller. “Like I said — I don’t usually have company, and I don’t really care what you do! But! I do have some words of warning.” Kokichi started speaking as Shuichi was searching the kitchen for water — he was disappointed when it was mostly filled with sodas. “Oh? And what’s that?” Shuichi replied as he rummaged — Ah! Finally! Bottles of water do exist in this fridge after all.

“If you don’t lay under the blanket with me I will be very, very sad. I might even slip into irreversible depression, and it would be all your fault!” Kokichi pointed at him accusingly before doing a little hop and scooting himself back into his favorite corner of the sectional. “Well, here’s my terms — I’ll just leave if you don’t drink any water. But if you do drink the water, I’ll do what you want. Deal?” Shuichi said absentmindedly without paying attention to his wording, realizing his mistake a few moments after it was said.

“Oh!! _Anything_ I want you to do?” Shit. He set himself up for that one. Expecting something either embarrassing or cruel, he braced himself for Kokichi’s next words. “You should lay here and watch me play [A Hat in Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq5eMgAV47M).” Dumbfounded again, but innocently amused, Shuichi felt a warmth flood his chest and face. Why was that so adorable?

A few minutes later, Kokichi had finished setting up the game and was ready to start playing. He had no problem taking the bottles of water that Shuichi had handed him, given their agreement. What was once half contemplation as to whether or not he will keep his word, was replaced with sureness that he’d be obedient without question this one time. Shuichi nestled himself underneath the blanket, and Kokichi started the game once they were both comfortable. 

The lights had been turned off, leaving only the illumination of the screen that highlighted the vague figures and shapes across the room, in hues of blue that felt tranquil to both of them. Kokichi couldn’t figure out what he was feeling in this particular moment — he was just incredibly content and happy, his mind could only settle on how it felt like nothing he’d ever experienced before. He had never really sat there with someone while playing video games, as common as that sounds. Midnight had never felt this safe and pleasant to either of them, before.

Shuichi could feel Kokichi shift a leg over top of his once again. Was that comforting for him or something? There was really no problem with it, so he didn’t bother questioning it. The two of them laid in nothing but contentedness as Kokichi ran around the levels, getting into nothing but irresponsible mischief while showing Shuichi amusing little mechanics in the game.

His narration was absolutely hilarious, and Shuichi laughed so hard in response to things that he didn’t expect to be in the game that it made Kokichi crack up as well — they would both be in hysterics at their own jokes at times. 

As they cleared each level, the game grew onto Shuichi more and more. It was well thought out and executed, and honestly he could see why Kokichi liked it so much — in a cute way, it actually sort of suited him. Empty bottles of water and a couple of hours later, it was easily nearing 3 in the morning, and both of them were smashed.

Shuichi, remembering he had a doctor’s appointment in the morning, and then an exam to attend afterward, broke into frantic realization that he _really_ needed to set an alarm. His heart sank for a moment, but there was no regret — this is not something he could genuinely regret. Repent for, however? Definitely. The consequences were going to hurt, but he’d get over it.

Kokichi seemed to have fallen into complete sleep -- his controller was limply hanging from his hand and he was breathing deeply. Shuichi had an excuse to pull out his phone now. Tapping the power button, his lock screen popped open and his eyes winced before he adjusted the brightness — he had several notifications that he didn’t really want to read, but when he saw Kaede had sent him more messages since the late evening, he sucked it up and opened their DMs.

————

\-- 10:43pm --  
Kaede: hey, we really hope you had a good time tonight!! i know i shouldn't have hyped it up the way i did, but everyone was really excited to meet you! :- ) also, i'm pretty sure rantaro thinks you're cuuute <3

Kaede: btw tsumugi said we'll probably have the big trial next weekend so that you have time to settle in! we're getting new equipment for the staging too, it'll be super cool!

\-- 11:06pm --  
Kaede: did you make it back ok?

\-- 11:51pm --  
Kaede: shuiiiichiiiii! text me back!  
Kaede: i summon thee!!

\-- 1:08am --  
Kaede: uh, have fun doing whatever it is you're doing!

Kaede: i know i'm probably being needy and dumb, but please let me know when you see my messages, ok?

Kaede: goodnight shuichi!

————

Goddamn it Shuichi you fucking idiot. Better at 3 in the morning than never, he assumed, then left her a quick text to let her know that he’s fine, had a fun night and he would talk to her tomorrow. After setting his alarm, he slid further down under the blankets and wrapped his arms around his pillow — he didn’t feel like returning to his own room given how tired he was and how easily he could just fall asleep where he was. 

Plus he was still trapped underneath Kokichi’s legs, that had pushed even further over him once he had fallen asleep. Seeking all of these justifications that he didn’t really need, the conclusion became unimportant. The other boy's warmth was enjoyable, which became his only ponder as he let his body drift. 

As according to his typical schedule, Shuichi was meant to fear many things -- but currently, the alarm that would awake him in 3 1/2 hours was the only thing he found that provoked the rampant distress that seemed to live inside him. Swallowed by his last mental image of Kokichi sleeping soundly, everything disappeared, and even unfamiliarity itself did not seem as evil as he once felt it to be -- was he mistaken, or was it more complicated than this? 

His expanse of mind melted -- dark matter -- a warp of tar that suffocated him and put him out of his misery, free from the reign of routine that once terrorized him. Drastic changes, embraced whelms -- everything began to shift and evolve, though it would take time.

Fate's promise was unearthed, unbeknownst to who was affected.


	5. Vowels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Vowels](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN_ZeOXVtbc)  
> 
> 
> I was a queen last night,  
> I said "Take to the water",  
> And let you drink my lies,  
> Like "Okay, you're right"
> 
> You can't spell pain or kiss,  
> Or run away or little mistake,  
> Without me.

First thing in the morning, he already felt like throwing up. The alarm he had set for 6:30am interrupted what felt like a moment's worth of sleep, and he quickly sprung up to turn off its awful noise. Shuichi really wanted to call everything off and go back to sleep -- talking to his doctor was the last thing he felt he needed right now, but he knew he really needed to get a refill of his meds. 

The young detective wondered if the Academy would reschedule his exam for another day, considering he could barely think and he would probably perform terribly -- he felt guilty considering that this was a terrible first impression. Unfortunately he really couldn't argue with the plan. That’d be the most responsible thing to do to fix something so irresponsible, and they’d probably be understanding at least.

\--

Upon trying to shift off the couch, he was met with a foreign resistance -- oh, right, he was currently a pillow to the small boy who had managed to trap him whilst they’d laid with their legs facing one another. Kokichi's legs were literally clinging onto both of his in a death grip, one tangling itself between them, while the other tucked itself underneath him. 

Shuichi couldn't even lift the blanket enough to assess the situation of whether or not he could slip out, which solidified they were definitely tangled — one thing he’d noticed, was that Kokichi’s over shirt and scarf were tossed onto the floor, leaving him only in his tank top. Shuichi wished he had also changed into something more comfortable for sleeping. Kokichi looked so peaceful that it made him scared to breathe, let alone _move_.

He plopped back down and exhaled while staring at the ceiling, a strange warmth tingling against his face — why was he a walking target for these back to back bizarre encounters, and why did it have to be with such a cute boy? There were two options to choose from — he could directly wake Kokichi up himself, or he could indirectly do it by calling the academy and requesting he do the exam Monday -- but that would only work if a phone call would even wake Kokichi up. Both made him feel equally as stupid and anxious, but fact of the matter was that he needed to leave anyway, so he chose the direct route. 

Sitting upward once again, Shuichi built up the courage to extend a hand and place it on Kokichi’s bare shoulder. Kokichi's skin was _soft_ , warm, and so smooth -- the stark contrast between the black fabric he wore and pale skin made him look even prettier, as though he was glowing. He tried not to linger, but it was oddly something for him to marvel over.

The touch against Shuichi's fingertips made his heart beat faster, breathing uncertain as his mind occupied itself with these miscellaneous thoughts. Really? A fucking shoulder was giving him heart palpitations? Was he really THIS depraved of human contact, or was it the 18th century? Don’t lie, Shuichi. You jump when literally anyone touches you, of course something like this would freak you out.

“Um, Kokichi?” Shuichi murmured anxiously, his legs pulling against the other's to bring him closer as he gently nudged him. “I need to get ready to leave, can you please… let go of me?” He felt like he was talking to a child — or at least someone incredibly fragile — with how gentle his tone was. How was one supposed to wake up a stranger without being weird about it, when you normally physically avoid people? After some persistence, Kokichi began to stir, obviously exhausted. 

"... Ugh, but I'm so tired.. Can’t you _make me_ move?" The other boy asked with a big yawn as he ran his fingers through his hair in a empty daze, violet eyes that begged for more sleep and had yet to fully adjust to the sunrise that was now pouring in through the blinds. Kokichi wasn’t fully there, and Shuichi knew.

"Er... Alright." Shuichi could feel the boy's legs loosening from around his as he maneuvered himself only slightly. They were both seated upward and facing each other now, and Kokichi's eyes were now combing over him with that same interest he'd noticed last night. Goddamn it. He tried to suppress the ever growing fluster that cursed him, and failed miserably while he fiddled around with the blanket and slowly untangled them, -- using his hands to move Kokichi's legs away from his once he successfully unbound them. Startled by a unexpected blur of movement, Shuichi flinched and habitually made a sound of shock. 

He was taken off guard by Kokichi suddenly pressing a foot against his chest, pushing him backward before lunging forward and scrambling on top of him. Shuichi was now pinned flush onto his back, Kokichi straddled over his stomach with his thighs squeezed onto him . "Wow, you're slow! Didn't you want to leave?"

"W-What? I was _going_ to before you- ..." Shuichi stammered, his body burning underneath Kokichi's weight — he was thankful that he wasn't positioned any lower. When he realized he was making eye contact, his vision darted to the side and focused on the coffee table. He could easily overpower him, probably... But that’s most likely what Kokichi wanted him to do. Not to include that out of all of his hobbies, one of them definitely wasn’t fighting someone you think is attractive while you have morning w- … actually, we don’t talk about that.

"Oh, I bet you're looking for this, huh?" Kokichi didn't elaborate on what he meant, leaning further over his face while reaching for something that was behind him. Unable to see what he was doing, Shuichi didn't need a hint when he felt the all familiar motions -- it was his hat. "Is this better~?" Kokichi murmured followed with another small laugh, pulling the bill down over Shuichi's face so that they couldn't make eye contact even if he tried.

"N-... Not really at all, I still feel like I'm dying." Shuichi replied, his head starting to go numb from how nervous he was — it wasn’t a bad nervous, it was a _gay_ one, clearly thrown off by how hot Kokichi’s voice was when he was exhausted, and how everything came out as a low drawl. "Kokichi, why are you-"

 **Fwoosh!** His hat went flying across the room -- was it really necessary to pummel the poor thing with that much force? "Good! You look so much better without it!" Kokichi grinned and snickered, obviously enjoying how much power he had over the other boy in their current position. Shuichi sighed — that wasn’t what he meant. He repeated the question he was going to ask right before his hat was so tragically mistreated. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I told you to make me move, and you still haven't. If you carry me to my room, I'll let you leave. It's that simple! I even made it easy for you, see?" Kokichi replied enthusiastically, pressing one hand against Shuichi’s shoulder for more leverage. 

Shuichi glared up at him, face still just as red from the assumptions that plagued his thoughts — if he had just been more specific in the first place, this wouldn’t have dragged on in this fashion. Not that he didn't enjoy it. “Aww, am I making you mad~? I’m just _disappointed_ that you left me hanging last night. Sorry if you end up being la- _aaaaa!_ ”

Knowing his intent made this so much easier. Shuichi hoisted himself up, and Kokichi threw his arms over his shoulders to form a loop around his neck. Shuichi could feel as Kokichi tightened his legs around his sides, and it made something as simple as walking into a incredibly difficult feat. 

This man had absolutely no idea how to carry someone, but it wasn’t that bad once you caught your bearings. Kokichi obviously wasn’t expecting him to actually pick him up, judging by the way his voice had carried off into a vaguely frantic, loud _yelp_. Honestly, he sounded thrilled with his predicament.

Shuichi pushed the bedroom door open and approached the bed, which was unacceptably massive -- it consumed the majority of the room! There wasn't a single person on this planet that **needed** a bed this big. Kokichi released his grip, prepared to drop, and Shuichi made sure he fell onto the mattress safely. 

“Bravo, bravo!!” Kokichi actually clapped for him as he laid on his back and stared up at him proudly, boisterously shouting with a false accent before his voice adapted back to his low, suave tone. “You should show me _what else_ you can do, sometime.” 

“Uh, and what do you mean by that?” If Shuichi blushed one more time this morning, he decided he would start beating himself in the head. He couldn't help his sight from wandering over Kokichi, who had one knee upward while he rested his face atop his hand during his casual sprawl across the bed. Stop being _like this_ , it’s _illegal_.

“Ohh, you know. The fun stuff.” Kokichi leisurely drawled out and waited a moment before he went on, perfectly aware of the look that Shuichi was giving him right now. “Like… piggyback rides! Ooh, and you should let me ride on your shoulders! Oh! Oh! Do you know how to do the heimlich maneuver?! That’d be fucking sweet!”

“ _Rib fractures_ sound great." Shuichi started _losing it_ imagining them actually performing the heimlich maneuver _for fun_ — god he needed that this morning. How either of them had the energy to flirt was beyond them, nor did they really think about it when they were so preoccupied with one another.

He wasn’t even entirely sure that Kokichi was intentionally making him feel this way, it was too ambiguous for him to be able to tell. Though to be fair, Shuichi probably wouldn't fully take a hint unless you plastered huge bill boards that said 'FUCK ME' in big, bold letters all over the room. Well, it wasn't to _that_ extent, but he did take convincing.

"I really need to leave now — I’ll see you later, okay?” Shuichi told him after he finished his fit of giggles, to which Kokichi just replied with a heartbreaking whine.

"Fiiine.. Make sure you don't forget anything. I'm sure you wouldn't want a reason to come back, huh?" Kokichi smirked, and Shuichi hoped he couldn't hear how thickly he just swallowed. 

Ugh, his body wasn't helping him calm down at all, he really needed to get out of here -- he had no idea what he was doing, and that would become a common theme soon enough. Shuichi closed the door without answering him, and started collecting what he thought was everything he’d brought.

Kokichi's smirk faltered once the door shut, letting his head fall back and body relax into his blankets. He closed his eyes for what felt like 3 minutes, Shuichi's movements eventually becoming silence, to find that 15 had passed instead. After the adrenaline of flirting with the pretty detective had finally wore off, Kokichi just felt like shit. 

Honestly, he was thriving on that excitement -- there were features about Shuichi that were so alluring to him, from the moment he met him, that made him want to interact with him -- though he wasn't sure what spurred him to come onto him so _blatantly_ first thing this morning. Maybe it was his sleep deprivation and hangover that made him so impulsive. His brain didn’t feel like it was on.

Sure he was a horny little bastard, but that wasn't new and it didn't mean that he did things like _that_ — he was always a subtle person, and hid behind his humor. It wouldn't matter though, because while he didn't know it right now, he was just going to feign ignorance as usual. 

Kokichi's head gradually began to ache the longer he remained conscious. His stomach was killing him, and his brain was filled with complicated questions based around insecurities — it was time for him to fall into a day-long nap.

\--

\--

Shuichi had just stepped outside of Kokichi's apartment and hurriedly pulled out his phone as he shut the door behind him. More missed texts, schedule reminder alerts, the weather report suggesting rain in a few hours time -- it was all against him. He'd began walking when he heard a familiar voice call his name from behind -- it was Kaede. 

Specifically, it was Kaede who'd just seen him leave Kokichi's apartment from down the hall. Well shit, it's not like she'd assume any different by now, so he chose to not take much note of it. His face still hurt from how flustered he’d been and he hoped she wouldn’t provoke it further. Right now, his only prayer was release from his body and his thoughts.

"Geez, you look terrible. Did you even sleep?" She asked him immediately with no lack of criticism, and he reached upward to pull his hat down — except there was a huge problem with this gesture. He wasn’t even wearing his hat! Well, shit. Awkwardly bringing his hands back down and fumbling with them, he laughed breathily. “Does 3 hours count?” Shuichi asked her, knowing full well that he was about to get an ear full.

“No! It doesn’t! Don’t you have an exam today?!” Kaede was practically scolding him, and it was honestly making him feel worse. He simply nodded, laughing nervously again and refraining from saying anything further. “Dude! What were you and Kokichi even doing?! How is my sweet, good baby boy already making mistakes like this?!”

“Uhh—” Shuichi paused, because he really had no idea how to describe what they did — what they did was typically what people did to spend time, right? “We just hanged out? We played video games? I-I lost track of time.” The way that he asked it so questioningly was conspicuous — the only reason why he was so confused was because of how _personal_ it felt. For two people that had just met, they really got along. He wasn't familiar with that. It felt like he was doing something wrong — but he was blaming all of that on his lack of meds.

“Uh-huh.” Kaede smirked like she didn’t believe a word he said, lifting an eyebrow and crossing both arms over her chest. She knew it was probably as innocent as he described, but based off of all her observations of them yesterday, she definitely noticed the chemistry between them — the fact Shuichi felt comfortable enough to go home with him was very telling.

“You should talk about it sometime! I haven’t seen you stay up this late in... forever? I’m surprised you hit it off so well, and with Kokichi of all people!” They were now walking towards the elevator as they chatted, Shuichi actively rummaging around in his backpack looking for his hat. Fuck, he must’ve left it at the apartment. Well, he had an excuse that Kokichi could use on him now, at least. 

“Why are you so surprised that it’s him?” Shuichi asked her, interest piqued — one thing he had already noticed was that no one was really that close to him, which was the reason why he felt so strongly about caring for him last night. He was glad he decided to do that, because it felt like he benefited from it as well, and he wanted it to happen again.

“Well, Kokichi has… done a lot of things to piss people off. So I’m just surprised he hasn’t scared you off, you know? He’s sooort of a big bitch sometimes.” Kaede’s reply was hesitant but honest enough — there was probably a lot of history that contributed to her concerns. History that Shuichi didn’t know, obviously, and he wasn't sure if he _wanted_ to know -- he could already imagine how much needless trouble Kokichi got himself into. 

“We don’t hate him though, don’t get me wrong! He’s a really fun person, and he’s probably the smartest person in the club! He’s just rude about some things.” Kaede clarified as they both entered the elevator and waited in the center -- she had definitely meant 'a lot' of things, but she wanted to be more kind about it. She in no way wanted to try to dictate Shuichi’s influence in any direction, or make him feel like he was wrong for getting to know Kokichi.

“I guess I could see how he makes others feel that way. To me, it feels like he’s really brave and.. sweet, in a way? Ah, I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for…” Shuichi’s sentence started off strong, but his confidence faltered after a slip of words, searching for what he meant to say in a contemplation that he couldn’t pinpoint. He didn’t know yet, that there was no set way to describe that guy.

“Hmm. Maybe you mean you think he’s cute? Literally _everyone_ noticed how nice he was being to you yesterday, by the way.” Kaede’s lips formed a wholesome smile, and she leaned towards Shuichi as she put a hand on his shoulder. Shuichi immediately met her eyes with a disgruntled expression, fighting the heat spreading across his face and his unnecessary embarrassment. 

He shouldn’t feel so ashamed about making friends, but here he was — suffering. The fact she was confirming his suspicions of Kokichi’s interest in him was physically painful to him, guilt and shame in one painful twist to his gut. God, he needed his meds. Change the subject, change it now. “Kaede, I just need to get my exam rescheduled-”

“Aww, you sooo dooo! You think he’s cute!!” Kaede ignored his protests, getting progressively more excited that he may actually have a crush. Shuichi was a mystery to her when it came to his relationships — she had never seen him show interest in _anyone_ in the 4 years they’d known each other — which made sense, given his personality and background. “Hey, tell me if you need advice, okay? I’ll be your wing man!! And I'll try to be nicer to him, I admit I haven't been doing that enough..."

Well, at least she was going to be more considerate from here on out, even if it was for a weird reason. "Th-Thanks? I might need advice, I don't know. I’m not that interesting of a person, so I don’t see why he’d actually pursue me." Shuichi had put his hand onto his face so hard that a small slap emanated through the empty space of the elevator. Kaede continued the conversation, reassuring him that he was a really cool guy.

He was still overthinking what had happened this morning -- it was probably Kokichi just messing with him, completely innocently based on how tired he was, and Shuichi's brain making him into a gay disaster. That was his take on it, anyway. Luckily, the doors to the elevator were about to open before he could blurt out what'd happened. “I really do need your help getting my exam rescheduled, so that I don’t die today. Okay?”

Kaede giggled and nodded, deciding to ease up on him and to save her questions for later. “Yeah, I can do that! Don’t worry about it! Everyone here wants to make sure that you succeed — so if you’re ever struggling, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Please, Shuichi?” She really put emphasis on that 'please', as though to remind him that he was awful at reaching out.

“I promise.” Shuichi wanted to hug her when they stepped out of the elevator, and he did — she was always supportive of him at every turn of events. Her reactions held so much intense emotion and belief, it was obvious how much she cared for him, and it made him feel so genuinely loved. “Sorry for making you do it for me I just… really need to make it to my doctor’s appointment.” 

“It’s no problem at all! Stop apologizing! Now, shoo! I’ll text you later.” The two then split off after the sweetest embrace imaginable, Kaede heading towards the primary assistance office while Shuichi made his way out of the main lobby. Now he just needed to take the subway to his destination, and then he could head home and get some well needed rest. Shuichi would just use the ride to collect his thoughts, and think about how badly he wanted to brush his teeth.

—

—

2:00pm eventually rolled by, but Kokichi’s bedroom felt timeless to everything inside it — shrouded in darkness, all but for the faint glow of his TV that he’d left on for background ambiance. The boy had slept another 8 hours effortlessly, finally stirring with a grogginess so overpowering that he struggled to pull himself awake.

Confusion struck him, and he just sat there helpless while he recalled everything that'd happened. He chose not to think about the validity of anything too much right now, deciding his pounding head was more of an issue to address first. This time, he really did regret drinking that much. He just wanted to feel normal again.

One of the first things that motivated him to move, was recollection that he needed _water_ , and that he needed to physically find it. Stumbling at first, he made it to his fridge and downed half of the first bottle of cold water he got his hands on, the relief instantaneous but more effective with time. 

Slinking over to his couch, he retrieved his phone and retreated back to his bedroom -- he craved the comfort its darkness and cold brought to him. Kokichi felt _off_ , like he was unreasonably emotional. He felt too tired to think or do anything, but he felt too worthless to rest. Why sleeping in so late made him feel so worthless, he couldn't figure out, but distracting himself before he started getting upset seemed like a better alternative.

Absentmindedly scrolling through his social media pages, he just read whatever passed by on the screen. It was the same bullshit he was always used to, it always felt so repetitive, and it was boring -- but at least it gave his mind something to occupy, and people he could piss off for nothing more than amusement. The next time he looked at the clock, 26 minutes had passed since he'd first woken up, and he'd nearly finished his second bottle of water.

Once finished with his drama fueled shenanigans, he opened his messages. Empty, except for the latest updates in the debate club group, which he didn’t bother opening — he didn’t care right now. He sulked in annoyance at the fact that he never even added Shuichi to his contacts list, because he would've probably left him a message in all honesty -- and it would've made him feel better. 

But he shouldn’t depend on someone he’d just met, even if they seemed genuine, and he knew that. Kokichi was aware that he could be _incredibly_ clingy, and that his lack of boundaries could be disconcerting. That was another reason why he would pass so many things off as jokes at times.

Putting his phone down, be flipped over and pressed back into his pillows, eyes squeezing shut for another 10 minutes. He could either go back to sleep and feel even worse, or throw on some clothes, take some pain medicine and get more water from the academy cafeteria. 

Eventually, he decided on the latter, and finished preparations before he found himself riding down the elevator. Their cafeteria was a large, open table type one — it had a couple of shops built into the walls and it was designed to be very convenient, with other necessities such as nurses offices on the same floor. 

After purchasing his water, he started to backtrack, but was met by someone he wouldn't had expected to call him out normally. "Kokichi! Hey, are you alright? I know you got pretty messed up last night!" It was Kaede who'd approached him, and looked genuinely concerned about him.

"Huh, I must look shittier than I thought! That's a pity, because I was starting to feel better... Thanks, Kaede!" Kokichi laughed dismissively in the middle of his dismay, honestly not having much energy for his usual antics, but went on with his bullshit anyway. Truthfully, he didn't mind the sudden attention he was receiving.

"Hey, don’t be such an asshole! You know what I meant." Kaede put a hand on her hips and glared, but she had fully anticipated his sass. "You look tired, that's all! Anyway, just text me if you need me to bring something by! I’ll have lots of free time this afternoon." She then beamed at him with a smile so big that her eyes squeezed shut, hoping he’d take the hint and play nice. "I'm gonna be playing room service from now on considering you, Shuichi and I all share the same floor, hehe!"

"Do any of your room services involve killing people?" Kokichi questioned seriously, and was quickly shot down with a disapproving glare. "It's just for me, geez. Don't get the wrong idea." But that only made her angrier, and he threw his arms up in playful motion to attempt to appease her. "Ugh, fine! — I can't belieeeve you don't actually want me to die! The audacity!“ Kokichi complained jokingly, however, he didn’t want to be completely ungrateful. ”But that _does_ make me feel a little better."

"Good, because I want you to feel better! Oh yeah, I’m going by the library in a few, do you want me to pick up your-" Kaede had started to offer to help, but she ended up watching as he walked away with a flip of his hand and a simple ‘no thanks’. It was like he was allergic to anything that had to do with homework, or responsibility for that matter. Ugh, she could just punch his little rude ass. 

Wondering when his next class was or if he even called out of the one he had today was pointless. It was too repetitive and obvious -- he probably didn't, he was always one to attend whenever it was convenient for him, which seemed to be rarely. All of the teachers here were used to it, and they had no choice but to be patient with him. She figured the most helpful thing she could do would be to pick up his school books for him while she went to retrieve Shuichi's. Was trying to help Kokichi with schoolwork a good idea? Probably not, but she didn't care -- she had a plan.

\--

\--

The afternoon progressed, and everyone was starting to actually feel rested. Shuichi was asleep most of the day, but had been awake the last hour and a half, eating his leftovers while watching some additional material about his upcoming exam. It was around 6:30pm now, and one frequent point of anxiety for him was Kokichi’s well being — but he didn’t have the guts to go over yet, which he voiced his misery to Kaede about — was it too soon? 

Unfortunately, she was a tough cookie, and wanted him to solve it all in person rather than her simply sending him his number. Kaede had been texting him on and off from the moment he was awake, so it was expected when he finally heard a knock at his door.

His room had a similar floor map as Kokichi's -- except the kitchen was its own room and tiny, there was no window, his furniture was arranged completely differently and he had a couple of small bookcases. He also had somewhat of a small "formal" dining table, but honestly he would probably end up only using it for homework, just as he currently was.

Putting aside his writing, he hastily opened the door and smiled when Kaede greeted him. "Shuiiichiii, you're looking _fly_ and _comfy_! Nice!!" She complimented as soon as she walked in, putting the books she was holding in her arms onto his table. Shuichi accepted the compliment -- he'd just recently upgraded his wardrobe when he'd moved and was enjoying his new clothes so far.

“Okay, sooo, while I was picking up your books, Kirumi gave me a great idea!” Kaede turned to follow him as he returned to his seat. “I don’t even have to say it — you’re awesome at studying! It's like it comes second nature to you! You’d be the perfect study buddy, y’know?” She started rambling along, holding both of her hands together while pepping up what she was about to present to him. 

“I want you to be my study buddy! And Kokichi’s too, of course! What do you think?”

Shuichi had to hold in the coffee he had just almost spit out — it was purely out of amusement from how _hard she was trying_. “Did you even talk to him about this? About being my… study buddy?” He asked and couldn’t keep a straight face. He was fairly certain Kokichi would have had the same reaction. Why would he want to come over just to read books with him?

“No, but hear me out — as far as I know, he _sucks_ at studying! I don’t really know what the deal is, honestly? It’s like he uses his brain for everything _except for_ being a student. Wouldn’t it be cool if we studied better _together_?” Kaede defended her statement and it was clear she really wanted him to give it a shot, no matter how corny everything she was saying sounded. She should make elementary school commercials, he thought.

Shuichi snorted, already imagining what Kokichi would have said in response to her statements. With a stubborn sigh, he let in and entertained her. “I guess you have a point… It wouldn’t hurt to ask. But the way you phrased that, it sounds more like you want me to _tutor_ you guys.”

“No, all you have to do is study with us and help if we get stuck!! Come on, let's go get him!” Kaede grabbed him by the wrist, and he sat there bewildered. “R-Right now?!” Shuichi stammered, his legs planted like cement against the floor despite her efforts. He hadn’t even told her what happened yet. “You’re studying now, right? Plus I brought his books over, too! Come on, help me convince him!”

And that was how he found himself being dragged down the hallway, followed by being witness to Kaede bombarding the door with knocks that were far too aggressive for a simple social invitation. Shuichi stood there before deciding he would just turn away and cover his face. Then they heard running, and he couldn’t help but glance back over. 

Feet thundering across the floor as they curiously waited, the door chaotically swung open and the boy looked fully prepared to attack them both before he saw who they were. Kokichi was then standing there, visibly confused, holding a giant garden gnome, while wearing the same black tank top and… booty shorts? “I… like your gnome.” Shuichi snickered in the background, and Kaede had to hold back her own laughter.

“Oh, thanks! That’s all?” Kokichi looked desperately confused, but he probably wasn’t too off put, judging by his standards. “I’m glad you guys came all this way just to compliment my gnome!” Kokichi exclaimed as the silence persisted, putting his gnome to the side — maybe it served a better weapon than it looked, but hopefully they would never find out. 

“Sorry— Hold on, give me a few minutes. Can we just forget about the gnome?” Kaede was too cracked up to speak properly and Shuichi just didn’t know what to tell him. From what he knew, their entire plan was to tell Kokichi that he sucks ass at being a student and that he needs to stop. Same, Kokichi. Same.

“Okay, you guys are starting to scare me. Is this an intervention? Or are we comitting crimes? It’s kinda _early_ for that though...” Kokichi’s suspicious eyes grazed over both of them, unsureness fading away as they swept across Shuichi in particular — it was relieving to see him again so soon, if he was being honest. 

“Er… It technically _is_ an intervention— Ow!!” Shuichi had received a hard punch to the arm from Kaede. Well, that was uncalled for. 

“Eww, but my last interventions were so boring! Let’s do crimes instead!” Kokichi answered him with indifference, but followed up with a solid point. “ Kaede can vent her frustrations on someone other than you, that way!” At least he didn’t ignore Kaede’s obvious abuse of having fists like everyone else.

“Okay! I’m good!” Kaede inhaled deeply and then blurted out her next words. “We’re going back to Shuichi’s room to study, and we're taking you with us!” Kaede made her demands very straight forward — determination was one of her strong suits, after all. 

Kokichi nearly declined based precisely on the reason, but he seemed curious enough to let it slide. “Sure~! But if you think I’m coming because I want to study, then you’re mistaken. ”

“Uh, you don’t _have_ to study. You’re welcome just to hang out, too. I have some documentaries I think you’d like.” Shuichi followed up behind her, hoping he wouldn’t feel out of place, and honestly just wanted to encourage him to _’intrude’_. “You wanted to watch ones about the ocean, right?” 

“Ooh, you remember that? Gosh, you’re so talented!” Kokichi was impressed that he remembered something so small. It only made him more expectant for when he would need to compete against him at the next class trial — he was going to make that trial living hell for him, if it was within his power to do so.

—

“Oh yeah! Shuichi was complaining how he never got your number, by the way! Go ahead and add him! I have no idea how either of you forgot.” Was the **first** thing Kaede said after they'd returned to his room. Shuichi didn’t physically punch her for it, but mentally he would have.

God fucking damn it, Kaede.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is focused more on dialogue and interaction, but I wanted to make sure I implement Kaede properly.  
> She's important.
> 
> The interactions take up a lot of time, but I do enjoy writing them!


	6. Lemon to a Knife Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [The Wombats](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwPa71UZRaQ)  
> 
> 
> I push and you tend to shove  
> I give in and you don't give up  
> I'm not getting out of here this time  
> I brought a lemon to a knife fight 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive fuckers! I got a new job and I've been super busy so I got thrown off lmao but I've been working on it in the background, I just don't have as much time to revise!
> 
> I also have been writing a [Wolfwalkers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_Z_tybgPgg) [AU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp6ehxZvvM4) of this fic, mostly for myself, but I might publish it eventually!

This was embarassing. Every last ounce of it was shameful. That’s what Shuichi felt as he spent the next hour trying to ignore Kokichi's choice of attire, his _bare skin_ , and his stupid shit eating grins. Things like how he seemingly remained glued to his phone, but was still observant enough to follow his and Kaede's conversations. His mannerisms, humor, interests — he found it all to be so _fascinating_.

This was where Shuichi learned of Kokichi’s _very_ well trained selective hearing. Shuichi had to smother a stupid joke in his brain, that Kokichi was teaching him how to have selective eyesight. If Shuichi were ever to be exposed, his amount of observance would be the tip to call him out — the attention to detail that he devoted toward learning, and the fact that he could get to know him from across the room without even interacting with him. 

It was painful how much of a giveaway it was, actually. It was completely unintentional as well, and he found himself searching for an answer that would tell him why he was so interested.

Maybe it was in his blood as a detective to analyze others, but when he considered his relationship with the others he had just met, none of them made him wonder as much as Kokichi did. Watching him was enjoyable, and it wasn't a crime, despite his instinct telling him otherwise.

The concept of a crush was so bizarre. It was never something he was that interested in — the most he knew was that he was _gay as hell_ , and boys have always made him incredibly more nervous than girls did. Society wanted to teach him otherwise, but it was quite obvious that the universe had other plans for him — even if his attraction was very rare and obscure. 

The physical intimacy Kokichi expressed prior left him very curious, to say the least. A lot of what he did left him curious. He wanted to explore that boy’s mindscape, his feelings, and how he viewed the world around him. No one had ever intrigued him this much before.

Determining whether or not his feelings were out of platonic or romantic interest was something he made outrageously complicated. Honestly, he just really wanted to talk to Kaede alone right now, as much as he was happy that Kokichi was with them. 

It felt very sudden and rushed. The confliction between learning about his history, his role as a “supreme leader” — versus wanting to discover things such as ‘what does he like to do in his free time’, ‘does he want to spend time with me, too’? 

What would he even ask Kaede? That was difficult to figure out, as well.

——  
——

After their return, the two had left Kokichi to his own devices in the living room while they tried to remain focused on their “studying” project. Surprisingly, she wasn’t that upset about Kokichi not participating. It was water under the bridge, and he started to wonder if she ever had any honest expectation that he would cooperate. She was a positive ray of sunshine, working with what was given to her, as always. 

If he weren’t so restless, Shuichi would have probably found this a very pleasant way to spend more time with Kaede. Their interactions were so comforting and uplifting, he was thankful they had the ability to actually do this more often now -- prior to his move, it was very difficult to see her. She was his dearest friend, and they’d hoped everything would work out this way.

However, distractions ran rampant across his mind, several factors intoxicated him into a state that made him the _worst_ study buddy to ever have. Shuichi could occasionally hear, _feel_ , the subtle vibration of his phone, and he had to fight himself not to check it -- fighting himself not to check on what Kokichi was doing physically, was enough of a battle.

 _Oh god,_ what could he be sending him? That was his immediate assumption as to who it was, anyway. No one else would text him at this time. Kokichi's occasional laughter, shouts relating to what he was watching, his body somehow so animated and entertained, the way he still managed to get into so much mischief while rolling around on Shuichi’s otherwise boring couch — it was all pleasantly enjoyable and a welcome distraction.

Shuichi couldn’t help but breathe out a airy laugh in response to some of the things he heard, or saw, and it never went unnoticed by Kaede. Kokichi was a natural narrarator, and it was very entertaining.

In a attempt to not be hypocritical, and to avoid giving Kaede even more fuel to use against him, Shuichi chose not to check his phone. Kaede knew damn well that he could have replied to her after leaving the restaurant yesterday, it was more than likely that she would throw a fit. 

Overstimulated, his mind out of his control, the dread associated with actions he could take — he was just now becoming conscious of the fact that he didn't currently have the best track record of fully paying attention to Kaede throughout their session. Treading along a queen bee’s nerves wasn’t the brightest thing you could do.

The fourth time Shuichi asked Kaede to repeat herself, she slapped a hand down on the table, hard, and looked at him as though she were asking _'Really?'._ This time when she repeated herself, he felt like she was trying to cut him with salt — not only with her words, but **with her eyeballs**. Her pupils were practically missile launchers that wished they could actually sting him. Kaede wasn’t one to be forgiving when someone throws a wrench into her plans.

She was trying so, so hard to be as legitimate as possible about all of this. Kokichi’s curt snort and enthused sneer, asking if she was going to kill Shuichi in his own apartment and if that’s as creative as she can get, didn’t help in the slightest. She verbally informed him, no, Shuichi deserves a special punishment for being _rude_.

Shuichi held his own glare steady against hers, in a way that almost looked like he wanted to tell her that _this was her fault_. If she could have such low expectations for Kokichi, then why not for him when he’s the one in a _predicament_? He was in the middle of trying to figure out _why the hell he's like this_.

For Kaede, this was all for playful banter, stupid shenanigans, and just to simply tease Shuichi. She felt like the chess master, trying to connect two weird lonely boys. In fact, she was pretty satisfied that from her seat, that she could see the moments of Kokichi taking quick peeks over at Shuichi after his phone would go off, indicating he _really_ wanted him to check his phone, and the fact that Shuichi knew better than to look. She felt powerful, in some weird way. Wing man of the century? Maybe so.

Throughout all of it, Kokichi's gazes seemed to linger longer than they normally would, and they were completely blank each time he accidentally made eye contact with Kaede. Her own analytical stares were probably very telling. She never paid this much attention to him, and he knew that. It made her feel exposed, but not vulnrable.

“Hey Shuichi, do you need a break? We could take 10! I’m getting all kinds of cramped!” Kaede eventually announced with as much innocence as she could muster, sweetly smiling at him as she did. Shuichi made a idle comment about whether or not she meant 10 minutes or 10 hours, and that he wouldn’t mind either.

——  
——

Let's switch perspectives real quick — Kokichi’s, to be exact. You see, he could be at home right now, and absolutely nothing would be different about what he's doing. The fact he’s currently sharing a room with Shuichi and Kaede was actually an improvement, because otherwise he would had been completely alone, trapped in the same routine. It was new and refreshing. Other people never made time for him, and when they did, it usually had to do with drugs, alcohol or… sketchier themes.

Sure he was still doing his own thing apart from them, but it felt nice that they gave a shit to have him around. It was nice having people who wanted to include you for no other reason than _just to have you there_ , even if your current interests were different. Plus, now he had someone new, someone who had a very intriguing mindset, and not to mention, someone that was _pretty_ to look at. 

Motivation like that was hard to come by for him. He didn’t know whether or not he could trust him, or if he was a coward that would back out after hearing the gossip, but he seemed more intelligent than your typical sheep — and to a wolf, having a capable rival was endearing. This sheep wasn’t part of the herd, nor was he exactly on the menu, either.

He knew it was more than craving rivalry, though — he craved a companion, someone to be close to. Someone reliable. Could he be close to someone that’s arm in arm with another person who helped ignore, shame and outcast him, though? That was the thing. Kaede could be rather two-faced, as nice as she was. He respected her, but wanted to test just how strong her resolve could be.

Kokichi knew more than others that being stabbed in the back was painful — he had been on both sides, after all. He was an opportunist with his own definition of justice, he knew best not to trust easily, and to test what he wanted to believe in the most.

—  
—

Moving forward to the frame at hand.

Kokichi was relieved after the discussion of taking a break came to light. Kaede tried really hard to get him to participate in their school work initially, but he simply refused her. He had to admit, her little puppy pout act combined with Shuichi's apparent nervousness was almost enough to convince him to _try_.

The small boy rolled himself off of the couch and made his way over to them before they’d noticed what he was actually doing. Kokichi was hellbent on splaying himself across that table in the most flamboyant way possible.

“Oh!! Look who’s finally— Kokichi?— Uh—” Kaede’s glee in the beginning was so radiant, so hopeful. However, it quickly diminished into confusion as she reached out at him in a meager, half hearted attempt to try to halt his movements. She knew it was pointless. 

“What are you— Hey!! Stop!!” The sound of books being forcefully slid, before clattering against the floor, only emphasized how powerless she was as she watched Kokichi maneuver himself across the surface without any hesitance. The way he did this so naturally made her wonder, _how often did he do this_?

“Oh… Okay. You’re on the table now. Cool.” Kaede muttered, perplexed but amused — her expression was one of pained acceptance, primarily because she couldn’t deny how suave the motion was. She lowered the hand she had originally lifted in contemplation of grabbing him. "By the way, you know **I'm the one** returning these books, right? You literally just let them hit the floor like frisbees."

Shuichi couldn’t help but try to mask his laugh underneath his hand. It was another of those bashful, breathy laughs — one that was _stupidly adorable_ , and it made Kokichi want to hear more of it. 

Once Kokichi made himself comfortable, his eyes couldn’t help but dance over Shuichi briefly again, acknowledging how he was almost hiding. What did he have to hide? That’s exactly why Kokichi confiscated that hat of his.

All of Shuichi’s features were such a beautiful blend of both masculine and feminine traits. The longer Kokichi was around him, the more attracted to him he realized he was. He hated it, and he hated himself for looking. He was growing attached already, hoping for the best, and it was down right shameful.

“Aww, come on.. they're not that important, the library has a hundred more of them. Sorry that I’m _such a disappointment_ , but studying sounds like a waste of my time and energy.” Kokichi spoke with his typical haughty demeanor , his back against the wall with both arms crossed behind his head, and a knee propped upward. “Sooo, I have a proposition!”

“Uh, and what’s that?” Kaede asked him, wondering why he attended a college he made no attempt to study for.

“Since, you know, we’re best friends and all now apparently. I remembered that I actually have somewhere I need to be, and you totally owe it to me to come with me. Alriiiight?” Kokichi stated firmly while eyeing Kaede, tight lipped in the beginning, boasting a big grin after moving on to the point.

“O-Owe it to you? You mean… how we invited you over to spend time with us? Is this your weird way of asking us to hang out?” Kaede smiled lightly at him despite his rude obtrusions, secretly enticed by his invitation. Kaede had really never spent that much time with Kokichi outside of classes and club time, so she honestly couldn’t imagine what he usually did. 

The times she bumped into him, he usually seemed to be up to mischief, but nothing really beyond stupid pranks and bullying whichever group he was spending time with. Most of the time he was alone, and she had to admit she never really did as much as acknowledge him then.

"Invited? Gosh, that’s putting it lightly. You guys kidnapped me! I had to get the gnome! _The gnome_!!!" Kokichi stammered back with an accusatory finger, biding his time while he formed an idea of what they were going to do. If he was being honest, he would tell you he had absolutely no idea where they were going to go. He didn’t actually have any plans. "So now I'm kidnapping you guys instead. Understand?"

“Uh… okay! I guess I don’t have any complaints! Shuichi?” Kaede stood from her seat and enthusiastically pressed her hands against the desk while she eagerly awaited his reply. It was almost like she was trying to coax him into agreement, but it wasn’t really necessary.

“Er.. I’m up for being kidnapped. That sounds like it could be fun, being the detective can get exhausting.” Shuichi mumbled behind unsure apprehension. Why was she putting him on the spot like that? It wasn’t really that big of a deal to him, despite his misfortunes. “Where are we going, by the way?”

He wondered what Kokichi’s intentions actually were, because as far as he knew, something about the way he was acting was… a little unnatural. Who just suddenly remembers plans out of the blue? But of course, he chalked it up to not being used to his behavior just yet.

“Doesn’t matter! You still have to hold up your end of the bargain!” Kokichi spoke rashly, eyes pinning him down where he sat. Shuichi winced a little in response, wondering why he avoided the question. Kokichi didn’t continue, though, he sat there, concentrating on him.

“So are you gonna tell us what we’re doing, or are you gonna keep staring at pretty boy over there?” Kaede scoffed with a pout — she was reaaaaally curious.

“Um, I’m NOT staring at him because he’s pretty. I’m staring because he looks naked without his hat on.” Kokichi lied, his only intention to make that boy squirm… and also to change the subject.

“Wait, what? Hold up—” Kaede was now staring at him dead on as well, and Shuichi wished he could just disappear in his seat. “You know… Why _don’t_ you have your hat on??”

“Yeah, Shuichi! Tell her why you don’t have your dumb hat on!” Kokichi teased, hoping he’d have recollection of what he’s referring to.

“U-Uh… B-Because…” Shuichi fumbled with his hands, frozen, locked in place as the memories flooded back into his mind — it took a moment, but he jolted in realization as he recalled Kokichi straddled over top of him while holding his hat. God. He wanted to die. “I… I lost it?”

“Awww, you lost it? Maybe I can help you find it. Neeheehee!” Kokichi was satisfied with the faint, familiar red tint fading onto the other’s face. That's better.

“Why do I have a feeling that was just a super lame excuse? I feel left out…” Kaede sighed, knowing she was 100% out of the loop.

“Anywaaaaay, since we’re all on board, let's get moving before we’re late!” Kokichi continued with his forced enthusiasm. “I’m gonna grab my shit, so just go to the elevator.” He made a effortless leap off of the desk and began running ahead, bursting out into the hallway in a swift run.

Kokichi kept running with more momentum and exertion than what you would have expected from him, it was almost as though he assumed his room to be a moving car. It gave him something to focus on — a way to release the pent up worry brewing inside him, and a way to forget the curiosity that prickled in his chest every time he saw a new expression from that boy.

This was all bizarre. Everyone quit treating him with such persistent kindness after his first few months here had passed, after… incidences had occurred. The resulting gossip spread forewarned everyone else to avoid him. 

To them, he wasn’t trustworthy, and the only thing he was good for was his humor. They enjoyed his content, but not _knowing him_. He was trapped in old habits, a unhealthy routine, and he still wasn’t trustworthy. He was under belief he never would be. 

Did that mean everyone else was more deserving of trust, though? Just because they didn’t outright boast the confidence to fuck with others in the way he did? Absolutely not. He would never trust anyone again, he’d told himself. It was the polite ones, the cheerful ones — you could find the darkest dishonesties behind facades like those.

Sure, he had some nice friends in the academy. He could list enough people who found him tolerable on one hand. They would hang out once or twice a week, maybe. It depended. But none of them went out of their way to know him in the way these two were going out of their way to include him. Excluding… one individual who has always been more than happy to accompany him.

Nor could he figure out _why_ they were doing this -- that was the thing, they didn't have a good reason to have him there. He was just existing. They didn’t outright call him suspicious, even though he was obviously suspicious. It was fucking weird, how they forced themselves to be so polite.

He figured after today, Shuichi and Kaede would have caught up, and she’d try to keep him away from him. She was actually doing the opposite, it seemed. It was driving him insane. All those thoughts of wanting to message Shuichi after he’d woken up, how he shouldn’t look forward to talking to him, it hurt his chest — yet he urged himself to leave him messages earlier, anyway. 

Kokichi wasn't stupid, he knew Kaede would have otherwise been spending her time on _better_ people than him. Every time they exchanged eye contact tonight, it was obvious she knew his intentions. Or did she? He was paranoid, he wanted to shake her off. Why would Shuichi change Kaede’s perception of him so much, and so quickly? 

A person that was so reserved, seemed so genuine, and appeared to be actually trustworthy. Why couldn’t he let himself be comfortable with the concept? The idea that someone like him would want to actively pursue his companionship.

The fears he’d realized earlier were flooding in as he processed them as his own real, honest emotion. Being vulnrable was something he wanted to avoid at all costs, but he could feel himself getting sucked into these ideals. He wasn’t naïve, nor was he one to adjust.

One’s reality might differ from anothers, but dishonesty and truth are spun by those who play them. Every story has its own side, based on the perception of all involved. What was the real truth? Can you even prove one’s true intentions and mentality, when it was all subjective and bound to change based on perception?

His paranoia ran rampant, it was a matter of not letting it consume him. Did he deserve this? Maybe he needed to take it one step at a time to figure that out.

—

—

Shuichi and Kaede stared at the open door in utter confusion, but that went over quickly as they remembered that sometimes Kokichi was just… like that. Kaede flashed a smile toward Shuichi and made a soft hum before she went and closed the door gently without a sound. 

“Sooo… Let's talk for a bit, ‘kay?” Upon turning back towards the table, she could tell by the way he was fumbling with his sleeve and the way his eyes watched her expectantly, that he needed to talk. He was a bit of a drama queen, if she had to be honest.

“Uh… about what, exactly?” Shuichi asked, knowing it was a really stupid question. He watched as she moved back into her seat, his nervous fumbling growing more prevalent as he reflected on how obvious his intentions were.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Kaede sharply replied back, stern enough to scold him but calm enough to coax him forward. 

“I just… don’t know what to say. Sorry. It feels like I have questions, but not the words to ask them?” Shuichi sulked in response, a hundred questions spinning around his mind. What to bring up first? Could she even tell him anything known for fact? Probably not.

“Geez, you must reaaally be overthinking this.” Kaede let out a loud sigh, shaking her head. In one natural movement, she placed her hand over his, and after he consented by pressing further into her reach, she began stroking her thumb against his skin in a soothing circular pattern. 

He didn’t say anything after their sudden contact, his eyes had sunk low against the table as he relaxed to her warmth. Her touches were so light, they felt like feather tickling onto his skin, and he found himself immediately drifting into a comforted haze. 

It had been a long time since they’ve been able to be so tender. It felt so relieving after the amount of stress he’d been facing the last couple of weeks. Blinking wearily behind soft lashes, his eyes finally flitted upward, only to be met by Kaede’s precious, soft gaze. Her expression stated just how much she cared for him, and it made him melt inside.

“You’ve always been so good at that, Shuichi.” Kaede was the first to carry the conversation, her fingers now gently tracing further up his wrist and enwrapping it inbetween her digits as she worked backward, gingerly traces nurturing the boy. “Honestly, sometimes I think you should take a break from it. Maybe your questions aren’t as complicated as you’re making them out to be.”

“Hey, I’m doing my best here. I’m so exhausted, but also… not… It’s weird.” Shuichi had to clear his throat before he could finish his sentence. “I just don’t understand.. this. Whatever it is.”

“Define ‘this’.” Kaede tilted her head.

“Uh… Well. I don’t normally feel the urge to… want to spend time with most people.” Shuichi started again, thinking about his words in advance. “I mean, I do, but at the same time I feel like I want to actually get to know him?”

“You are such a… a….” Kaede bit her tongue in the middle of her kerfuffled outrage, absolutely blown away by what he had just said. “Big dummyhead!! Shuichi, you literally just described how people make friends!”

Shuichi huffed, choking down a embarrassed laugh, and Kaede quickly apologized for her sudden outburst. “Ugh, I’m sorry Shuichi. You just frustrate me sometimes! Can you please... Elaborate?”

“It just feels different? I don’t know. When we walked here, we just… talked… and it was so effortless. I don’t even know him that well, but he talks to me like he doesn’t care about that — he talks to me like he knows me.” Shuichi’s fumbled eyebrows, the way he looked to the side and pressed a hand against his forehead, it was obvious he was racking his brain over this. Kaede remained quiet as he continued.

“He’ll stand up for me over the smallest things, but challenge me over the smallest things, too. He makes my head spin when he does that. You know him more than I do, and I can tell you’re trying not to be biased but… like you said, it seems not many people like him as much.” Shuichi looked back over to her, evaluating her response as he asked this next question. “Why? Why do you want me to get to know him? How does that make you feel?”

“Well… At first, it made me feel uneasy. I was pretty worried about it all night, I had to talk about it with someone, if I’m being honest… they helped me figure out that I was being pretty unfair.” Kaede murmured, trying not to hesitate too much while also reserving bits and pieces of information. “I actually think the dynamic between you two would be good for you both, for the most part. You’re pretty similar, kind of.”

“Unfair? About what?” Shuichi lifted an eyebrow, definitely catching on that she wanted to keep this person she spoke to anonymous.

“Well, he— they said it was borderline manipulative of me, really. I do know him better than you do. I also know that he’s very… selective of who he gets along with.” Kaede obviously was trying to own up to be critical of her own behavior. “And all of that is fine, his relationships with other people shouldn’t determine whether or not he can make friends. Nor should it make me treat him differently if none of that directly effects me…”

“So… Has he done anything to you personally?” Shuichi was hesitant to ask, because that would make this feel… wrong. He hoped it wasn’t a full blown mess.

“No, not really! Childish pranks, petty arguments… Nothing that really matters. Sometimes he annoys the living heck out of me and he can be too loud, but I think he’s fun.” Kaede reassured him, in detail. “I overreact sometimes.. He’s usually pretty nice to me.”

“Only sometimes?” Shuichi smirked, his grin growing even more when she began to squeeze his hand tightly with a daring smirk. “Anyway… What exactly has he done, then? You mentioned we were similar, also.”

“Ugh, it’s a lengthy topic, Shuichi. It’s… a lot. Everything about him is a lot. I wouldn’t worry about it right now, it doesn’t matter anymore. I think it’d be better for you to figure out yourself why we think you’re similar.” Kaede grimaced, frustrated with the very thought of figuring out where to begin. “I know someone who might want to talk about it with you eventually. Kokichi’s actually been relatively good lately, even though he… doesn’t seem to do much of anything, anymore.”

Shuichi didn’t say anything after that, because it was clear to her what was wrong with her last sentence — apparently Kokichi had been acting… off, per Kokichi standards. It was easy to assume why, but he’d rather _learn_ why.

“So, what happened last night? What was up with the hat thing?” Kaede continued, catching Shuichi off guard — ugh, he was going to blush if he had to talk or even just think about that.

“Uh— I don’t really want to—” Shuichi withdrew his hand from hers, sat stiffly and nervously scratched at the back of his neck. He couldn’t look her in the eyes.

“Come on, it can’t be thaaat bad. Is it going to kill you if I know?” Kaede gave him her cutest, most innocent puppy face, puckerin her lips while she squeezed her cheeks together. 

“He, uh…” Shuichi looked for only a second, then sighed, trying to find the words. “Straddled me?”

“Oh. That’s it?” She sounded completely disappointed, it kind of made him feel a little hurt with how much effort it took to say.

“We had just woken up, and I, uh…” Shuichi shyly tried to place the words, but he hoped she would just guess. “Was… having a predicament. Yeah.”

“What does that have to do with— Ohhhh…” Kaede began to rant, then abruptly let out a very long realization. Having a dick sounded inconvenient to her. “So, like, did you—”

“No, no. Nothing… like that.” Shuichi interrupted before she could embarrass him even more. “We were on his couch, he made me carry him to his bed so he could sleep. It seemed kind of innocent, for the most part?”

“Oh you poor, poor thing… Kokichi is anything but innocent. So what else happened? Like, the normal stuff.” Kaede changed the subject for him.

Shuichi began to ramble before he knew it, recalling the night prior, overflowing with random details as each section of dialect finally formed itself. It was all so irrelevant and miscellaneous, but Kaede sat there with her head in her hands, smiling intently as he continued.

Shuichi could almost say he felt like a rabbit in a fox den, a fawn leapt upon by a playful wolf. They were opposites to him, and he couldn’t understand why Kokichi would take to him. Was he being lured? It didn’t feel like it, and the more Kaede had told him, it really did seem they were beneficial to each other in a way.

“It felt like he showed me something about himself that others know nothing about? I haven’t seen anyone act even remotely like they genuinely care about him, and he’s not as friendly to the others. The way he’s paid so much attention to me makes me feel so… weird, but I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, or jump to any conclusions—”

“That’s all completely normal,Shuichi. Everyone experiences thing like this in their own way. You’re not strange for hitting it off well with someone and enjoying their company!” Kaede couldn’t help but grin so wide at him, adoration filling her entire body — she had never seen him act this way before, let alone talk about someone with so much complexion. 

“To think you’d end up so curious about someone like Kokichi! Mm… I guess it makes sense, it’s kind of cute how he was drawn to you right away.” Kaede pondered, thinking back over their introductions — Kokichi definitely had heard he was a detective and was curious to begin with, she was positive about that.

Honestly, she didn’t remember much in detail. All she knew was that Kokichi had whisked Shuichi away before she even knew he was there, and made a big show about how Shuichi was there to investigate him personally.

“Huh? Drawn to me?” Shuichi’s face had already turned red from the painful smiles he’d experienced the last few minutes, but that was enough to twist his gut. Was it that obvious, and was he not just imagining things?

“Er… nevermind. You’ll figure it out if you think hard enough.” Kaede tried to force her smile away, irony pressing against her eyebrows and her lips almost crinkling across her face. Sometimes Shuichi would miss the most obvious clues… and that was fine. 

“Anyway, I know this sounds so typical and you probably don’t need to hear it, but try to relax. Just enjoy your time with him, take a deep breath whenever you need to — it’s not illegal to breathe, okay? Detectives never solve a case immediately, they have to piece things together, right? Follow your gut and do what you feel is right!” Kaede tried her best to be as supportive as she could for him.

“Mm… You’re not wrong, but it’s hard.” Shuichi’s fluster dulled into a pitiful half-smile as he looked almost sad upon hearing that. It wasn’t what Kaede said to him, it was his own mentality. “Hah, it’s funny actually, I wish I could do half of what you told me… but I can’t. If I don’t know the answer to something, I’m an anxious mess until I do know.”

“I know, I know. It’s really hard… I can’t do a lot of things for myself, either.” Kaede squeezed his hand, slipping her thumb into his palm. “But you’re the type of person who _can_ do that. Okay? And I’m here to help! You’re back on your meds now, too. Right? You’ve gotten a lot done already!”

“Ah..! Yeah, that’s right. I saw my doctor earlier this morning.” Returning her affection, he squeezed her thumb lightly, sad eyes wiped away by the sun goddess right in front of him.

“Good! Just make sure you take them regularly this time, okay? The way you were eyeballing him makes me think that you’re gonna need to!” Kaede pulled away and began to stand up, figuring they’ve talked enough and should get moving.

“E-Eyeballing him?! I was not!” Shuichi stammered, arms flippantly moving upward in a surprised pose.

“Shut it!! You looked like you were going to explode when he climbed onto the table!” She snapped, and he had to take that bullet to the heart because… she probably wasn’t wrong.

Kaede pulled him out of his chair, dragging him to the door. She let go as they left the apartment and made their way to the elevator. 

"Hey, what was he texting you earlier?" Kaede asked as they walked briskly down the hallway. Shuichi uttered a murmur of neglected memory as his hand darted into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He’d almost forgotten.

Browsing their chat window, it was mostly a few videos, some sketches related to said videos and a couple of rambles. Shuichi couldn’t help but smile as he skimmed what he said, thumbs pressing with caution as he replied “remind me to watch these when we get back”.

As they continued down the hall, Kaede and Shuichi made idle dialogue about things they should all do together, attractions in the city, and what everyone commonly did to spend time together. After all, college shouldn’t be all about education — it should be about making friends, memories and figuring yourself out, as well.

Even if you're a little gay and awkward while you do it.


End file.
